i've been talking to myself lately. i think i'm getting bad again or maybe i just miss you but either way i've never felt so crazy. and i've never felt so positive that there is no way out of this. i can't be with you and i can't be without you. and you give me those pleading puppy eyes that tell me you need me but you need him more. so what do you want from me? you want me to be your slave? your dog? you want me to follow you around and worship you down at your feet so you have a backup plan in case you and your man don't work out and so you can get the extra love you need from me? i can't talk to you with out falling in love with you and you know that so why do you keep coming back for me? i don't want your remedy unless he's gone. you chose between us by not choosing and you know it. if you loved me so much you would've ran to me. "if they wanted to they would" they tell me. "maybe when they are older" they tell me. why couldn't you just be what i needed you to be now? why does everything i touch burn...
i wish to feel as deeply as i possibly can. pain demands to be felt as does love hand in hand. i want to love you so much that it creates a black hole in my heart that destructively devours everything it can, longing to fill the void that you left. i want to be imprinted on so deeply that you can see sculptures and renaissance portraits of you in my eyes. i want our hearts to beat at the same rhythm and frequency of Aphrodite. i want our fingers to intertwine and lock as we melt into each other's faces. let me be your aphrodisiac. line me up with your fingers and inhale my essence until you feel the ecstasy of my love and admiration of you. everything you do is a blessing to me. the way your hair falls in front of your face is religious. the way you move i could nearly pass away. i want to be your puppy. just for once in your life, tell me you love me...
if you truly don't love me... why call me out of the blue on a friday at 2am? i'm trying my hardest to get over you but you keep lurking... and stalking... watching me from a distance. if you want me come and fucking take me. break up with him and run away with me. you say that it's impossible but you can't stay away from me, can you? there is something here lynn, you know there is. i love you lynn, i still do, i really do, so please just come for me. don't let this be how we end. don't let HIM be how we end. i don't give a shit if i sound desperate, i am desperate. this is how you make me. people have told me that i have no respect for myself because i have no issue begging you on my knees for you to love me. so please don't make me look like a fool for putting my all into you. i still believe...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
we could've had a really good life together, a fucking really good life. but you didn't want it Lynn. so what we got now, is Brokeback mountain.
i think the hardest part about being with you is that you are always worried about one of your past lovers instead of focusing on me. its either your man, its your ex girlfriend, its your ex boyfriend, its anyone but me. you want me to come back when you didn't give a shit about me leaving. you are in love with them. not me. i'm trying to find peace without you but you keep coming back to torture me. i don't want to feel how you made me feel ever again... like a second choice... a back up... i was the only person to give you my entire heart and soul i put my entire being into you and where did that get me? am i that worthless? am i ugly? what's wrong with me huh? you don't want me? then stop coming back. your touch hurts...
