Exposure • Tamber

Chapter 4: Classical Conditioning

She wasn't sure how long she had been pretending to be asleep, but it was Saturday morning and she was going to stay wrapped up in her comforter for as long as possible.  Which seemed to be ending sooner than Tara was willing to accept. 

She heard the door click shut quietly and a slight tug on the blankets wrapped tightly around her.

Tara buried her face into her pillow with a sigh, "Anika we've talked about this. You can't clean my sheets when I'm still in them."

Then she felt the mattress dip and an arm wrap around her. Tara rolled over completely surprised by the action- Anika would definitely not be trying to snuggle with her.

"Is that something Anika has tried to do before?" Amelia whispered as she snuggled closer to Tara.

Tara let out a sleepy chuckle and turned to face Amelia, "Morning."

"Morning to you too, Carpenter." Amelia replied with a smile.

Tara relaxed a bit and let Amelia pull her in closer. They hadn't really talked since Tara got mad at her in the library on Thursday. Having had time to cool down, Tara realized Amelia was just being Amelia. Wanting to take care of her. She couldn't really be mad about that, could she?

Amelia's smile faltered slightly as she let out a breath, "Is everything ok? With us I mean?"

Tara felt herself stiffen. How was she supposed to answer honestly when she wasn't sure herself? She forced herself to take a deep breath and relax, tilting her head to look up at Amelia's worried face. "I'm sorry I've been kinda... off lately." She sighed, "I guess this semester is just stressing me out more than I thought."

Amelia just nodded and wrapped her arms tighter around Tara.

Tara sighed and tried to let herself get comfortable in Amelia's arms. But something felt different. Tara knew what they had was great. She knew Amelia was great. That hadn't changed.  And even though she couldn't quite figure out what it was- something had changed.

"Well Carpenter, should we get up and greet the day?" Amelia asked, rubbing her palm up and down Tara's back gently.

Tara let out a sigh and closed her eyes, "Can we just stay here another minute?"

"Sure." Amelia pressed a kiss to the top of Tara's head and relaxed into the mattress.

Tara tried to figure out what was different this morning but couldn't quite place it.  Amelia still felt safe, comfortable, like she always had.  Maybe it wasn't Amelia that was different, maybe it was Tara.  Maybe safe wasn't what she wanted anymore. At least not in the way it felt in that moment.

—

"Oh my god." Anika muttered quietly, "oh my god."

Amber let out a sigh, "you've been saying that for half an hour, Kayoko."

"I'm sorry." Anika squeaked, "I just- this is just really difficult."

"Come on, it's only Monday. It's not healthy to be this stressed out already." Amber's eyes squinted as she focused her attention on the sketch pad in front of her, trying to get the lines just right.

"Oh no, this is my usual level of anxiety on any given day." Anika peeked around the side of her sketch pad quickly before hiding behind it again, working on the shape of her drawing.

Amber chuckled and looked back to the center of the room, "Hey beefcake, quit moving!"

"Oh, sorry!" Chad gave her a goofy grin before once again standing like a statue, his face serious as he concentrated way too hard at the simple task of standing still.