𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗸 𝘁𝗼𝗰𝗸, harry potter

˗ˋ 136

CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED
AND THIRTY SIX
✧
-: fifth year :-

── IN WHICH HARRY
EXPRESSES HIS OPINIONS

. . .

"You're a blood traitor?" Harry repeated, finally, back cold from being pressed against the glass panes. "I don't..." he trailed off, swallowed, and tried again, "the Weasleys-"

"Harry, in the past few months I have gone against everything my family has ever stood for. Beginning with that very first day arriving at Grimmauld Place the expectations of my family, what made me who I was have slowly slid away." Aviana said in a low voice. "And I have only helped that, not even trying to think beyond the immediate repercussions of my actions. I did not think about what kissing you would do, other than annoy Draco and Umbridge. I have consistently, avidly, supported you in fighting against those saying that the Dark Lord hasn't returned because he has - actively promoting something he's clearly trying to hide. I just thought about what that would do then, not what it would do later on."

"It's not like you can tell the future. You're not exactly the biggest fan of Seers." 

"Well... some of them have a stronger disposition and talent for it then others. Trelawney, for example..." Aviana shook her head slowly. "She's on probation." She added, as if that conveyed her entire thoughts on the subject. "But I'm usually so aware of things and this has all just blindsided me. I thought by the time William broke out of prison I wouldn't have to worry about him coming after me because there would be other, more important things at play, but now that it's actually happened, I've realised exactly what I've done and there is no way for me to fix it."

"Do you want to be like them?" Harry asked, his confusion laced with anger pushing him towards heightened confidence. "The whole blood purity thing, all that?"

"No, don't be stupid." Aviana snapped. "I've never agreed with that, thought the entire thing was entirely pretentious... but you know that's not what I meant." She twisted the signet ring fully around her finger. "I believed I was going to be safe by joining the Order, but I thought that it would be closer to the summer and I wouldn't have to worry, because they couldn't get into Grimmauld Place." 

"But Sirius-"   

"Sirius didn't actually want to kill you, Harry." Aviana shook her head. "Sirius came to Hogwarts to kill Peter Pettigrew, you were never in any danger from him. And obviously the Ministry isn't taking it as seriously because do you see any Dementors floating around this time?" 

"Well no, but-"

"Harry, I've defied everything my family stood for. I have joined the Order of the Phoenix, and I have been openly advocating for the belief that Voldemort has returned - do you see any of the Slytherins who are privy to that information are going around parading it? No, you don't. And they'll figure out that I've been taken by Sirius, because they know he's still alive because he was stupid enough to be seen on the platform, and none of my other relatives will have taken me. Not to mention that I have been dating you for months and now Draco is looking at me even weirder than before because I know that all he has done is gone home for the holidays and parroted every little bit of information back to Lucius who has told William and told the Dark Lord and now I'm going to die." 

Harry watched her carefully, his eyes wide. Her expression unreadable; somehow both cold and filled with unrecognisable fear. He didn't know what to say, didn't know how to comfort her because everything she had said she had convinced herself to be true. There was no margin to suggest coincidence, that Draco was just being weird, that her father didn't somehow know what she had been doing because there was no way to say that he didn't. 

If Harry knew anything about pure-blooded families, it was of their control. They perfected an image of perfection, as though they were the royalty of their kinds, shaping their children to simply produce the values of their parents, with no moment for individuality. There was no room for that, and Sirius was a clear example of that, and the charred remains of his portrait on the family tree proved it even further. 

"I... I don't know if this helps, or makes it worse." Harry began, carefully. Her eyes flickered over to him rather than the spot of stone she had been staring at, and they were glazed over with unshed tears. "But I think the moment your father was imprisoned for murdering those muggles, then they will have known that something like this will happen." 

Aviana was staring at him, so still it was almost as though she wasn't breathing.  "What do you mean?" She asked. 

"You can't tell me, considering how long I have known you, how you never participated in any of Draco's bullying, or Parkinson's snickering and comments, never did anything like that, that you were ever actually participating in any of that?" Harry didn't blink. "Seriously, from the moment you were born you were blasted off the Black family tree and what, it's taken some guy breaking out of prison for you to suddenly think that you're a blood traitor."

Aviana didn't move, not an inch. Harry had grown quite scared of what could possibly come of this, but all his frustrations had grown into this and he had found himself on a tangent. "Aviana, there is no point deciding to be angry because you didn't think about every single possible reality that could come of your decisions because it's too late." He said. 

"I'm not saying that you shouldn't be scared because Jesus, I know I was terrified when I thought Sirius was coming to kill me - but fucking hell, if Draco has gone and told Lucius about everything you've done then what has really happened? You're at Hogwarts, you can't get attacked here, and you're a part of the Order of the Phoenix - there's McGonagall, Dumbledore, even Snape here, and they won't let you be killed because you've actually done something to the cause. You have Sirius, you have me, and nothing that you do now is going to change what you've done before." 

She was still staring at him, but her eyes were dry and all of a sudden something came over her. "You're right." She breathed out, and there was a light to her voice. "Yeah... you're right. I can't do anything to change what I've done... Thank you, Harry."

To his surprise, she smiled, leant over to kiss him on the cheek and slipped down from the windowsill. "I'll see you at breakfast." She added, and disappeared from the room.

Somehow, Harry thought that perhaps, Aviana had gotten a slightly different message than what he was going for. 

✧

a/n
my girl is having an  
identity crisis she deserves 
to be angry and go nonverbal ok??