Sex With No Love-Jake webber x Johnnie guilbert

Too Late To Go Back

Jakes pov-
I woke up, immediately remembering what happened last night. fuck todays gonna be awkward... we cuddled,had sex, AND he confessed his love to me. Why did i tell him i dont love him? Why the fuck would i say that?! i guess its too late to go back. And besides.. he said he mixed up platonic and romantic,but again? What does he mean again? When else has he done this? God im spiraling into a deeper rabbit hole the more i think about this. I guess i can talk to him later since we were gonna film anyways. I get up and walk to the kitchen,i can hear shuffling in johnnies room so i knock on his door. "Johnnie?" The shuffling stops for a minute before sounding more panicked. I knocked again. "Johnnie can i come in?" "I-in a minute!" Johnnie exclaimed from behind the door. Whats he doing? Why is his voice like that? His voice sounds like an old voice box thats been run over like five times,its raspy and sounds cracked. I see him open the door as he moves some of his hair off his face. "You okay? What were you doing?" I say,trying to see into his room. His door was just barely cracked open and he only stuck part of his face out, and it wasnt even out the door,more so like he was hiding behind the door. I couldnt see his face that well, i could only see his hair and the right side of his face. "Johnnie open the door this isnt peek a boo" i say. Johnnie just shuts the door in my face. "I need a minute." I hear him mumble as i feel his body pressing against the door. i heard his clothes slide down the door so i assumed he was sat against the door. "johnnie are you okay?" I asked. No answer. Maybe it was best to leave him alone. "Im gonna order food okay? When it gets here ill knock and leave it at your door 'kay?" I couldve sworn i heard him sniffle from the other side of the door. "o-okay." He says,his voice soft. I order McDonald's chicken nuggets for him and taco bell breakfast for me. I sigh as i sat on the couch.

Johnnies pov-
I will never let jake see me or my room like this, for starters im bloody everywhere the bandages didnt help last night,theres a bloody knife on my floor,clothes are scattered,theres a blood soaked towel on my floor,my bedsheets are stained by blood,theres blood on the bathroom floor,its just- its just blood everywhere. My makeup is smeared so i look horrible,my hair is ruffled and dead,and im already fat and hes fucking ordering food. I dont think i could even clean this up today,but if i dont try he'll definitely notice. I sigh and pull off my sheets, wait maybe i should clean the blood off myself first. I get in the shower,the water running the fresh and old blood away. Of course it still bled when i got out,they were fresh and deep cuts how could they not? I bandaged them up better than yesterday, ensuring they dont bleed through. Since im already in the bathroom i just clean up the blood in the shower,on the floor, and in the sink. I flush it down the toilet and go back in my room. Right okay all thats left is my towel,bedsheets,and clean and hide the knife. I grabbed the knife and brung it to the bathroom,i washed the blood away. Easy. I dried it and hid it under my pillow. I could hide it better but whats the point? Whos looking under a pillow? Jakes not the fucking tooth fairy looking for teeth. I sigh and grab all my blood soaked items,my bedsheets,clothes,and towel. I make it look like nothing happened on them,in reality they were just inside out. Obviously the blood was still very visible but if i ran to the laundry room maybe jake wouldnt notice? I opened my door and saw jake on the couch. Fuck. "hey you need help?" Jake said,sitting up clearly observing me. "im okay thanks." I say before running off to the laundry room. I sighed as i shoved it all into the washing machine. I would consider myself lucky if only the blood on whatever item hadn't been still wet and gotten on my clothes.. i start the washing machine and walk awkwardly to avoid jake seeing the blood. "why are you walking like that?" Jake laughed. "no reason" i say like nothing before slipping back into my room. I hear jake knock like 5 minutes later. "Foods here!" By now im already in now clothes,black skulled pajama pants and a black misfits shirt with a long sleeve underneath to avoid showing the bandages. I open the door completely now. "Your pretty barefaced you know?" What? No. Dont let it get to your head. Its just platonic not romantic. Itll never be romantic. never. I avoid answering him and just take the food. I put it on my desk and just lay in bed. I know i have things to do today but i just dont feel like it. I dont feel like doing anything really. I dont feel like moving,i dont feel like eating,i dont feel like showering,i dont feel like brushing my teeth,i dont feel like changing,i dont feel like scrolling on my phone,i just feel like laying here,numb. I drown out the sound of jake talking to somebody on the phone with music, if there was something i was always in the mood for it was music. i put my airpods in my ears and blasted the music,i knew it was bleeding through the headphones. Jake burst into the my room as i paused the song and took my headphones out. "no wonder you cant hear me absolutely screaming bloody murder for you i was asking what you wanted to film today" i dont respond and just groan as i flip onto myself onto my side,putting an airpod back in and unpausing the song. Jake just starts pushing me until i groan again. "I dont feel like doing anything today." "Okay fine ill film with tara then okay?" I just nodded and pulled the spare covers i had over my head. I knew he was gone when i heard him close the door. I think im gonna change the bandages on my cuts again,i just feel like their too dirty now. I got up and went to change my bandages,they were all completely off when i heard my door click open. I slammed my bathroom door shut and locked it. Jake knocked on the door, "johnnie? Taras on her way she'll be here in 15 just in case you wanna come film with us!" Jake called out from behind the door. Maybe i should film with them? fuck no what am i thinking i don't deserve to do anything. I finished wrapping my cuts up and walked out, i guess i didnt realize how long it took to wrap them up. I got out and i saw tara,i really dont want to interact right now but i guess i should since im already out here.
Im just not ready to.. i guess its too late to go back.