THE BOONDOCKS X MALE READER

The Real (aka The Reality)

Huey is in a confessional booth in front of a camera getting questioned.

Man - Okay. So tell us a little bit about yourself.

Huey - I'm the founder of 23 different radical leftist organizations, including the Africans Fighting Racism and Oppression, of AFRO, if you will, uh, the Black Revolutionary Organization, or BRO, uh...

Cut to Granddad also being questioned

Granddad - Yeah, sure.

Granddad - People tell me. I look like Bill Cosby all the time... I mean, excuse me...

Granddad - Dr. Bill Cosby.

Granddad - Especially when I wear these sunglasses.

Riley is being questioned too.

Riley - Yeah. Yeah, my name is Riley, son.

Riley - But, you know, niggas call me a.K.a. Riley Escobar.

 Riley - You know what I'm saying?

Riley - 'Cause I be in the streets you know?

 Riley - I got all kinds of names, like H.R. Paperstackes, uh, also know as, a.K.a. House Choker.

Riley - Uh...

Jackie is also being questioned.

Jackie - I've won about 130 fights last time I checked.

Jackie - I had a couple of draws here and there, but those were days when I was feeling unwell.

Jackie - But I really don't keep count. I mean who's got the time?

Back to Huey.

Huey - And also the Black Revolutionary Underground Heroes.

Man - Um... BRUH?

Huey - Yeah, BRUH.

Back to Riley.

Riley - A.k. a. Philsbury Doughboy.

Riley - A.k. a. Louis Rich.

Man - Like the turkey bacon?

Riley - Yeah, like the - What?

Back to Granddad.

Granddad - So like I was saying, I've always believed that Cosbyness is next to godliness.

Back to Jackie.

Jackie - I've had about 20 girls alone claim that I was their boyfriend, and one of which was twin.

Man - You must get a lot of action.

Jackie - I find it more annoying than lucky so I never go with them. Plus all of them were really desperate.

Back to Riley.

Riley - So my granddad's wearing his Bill Cosby shades, and I'm like "This nigga look blind."

Riley - And then I thought "Boom, I get an idea. I know how we can get this money"

.Riley - And I made a tape.

In Huey and Riley's room Riley hits record on his vid camera.

Riley - Dear Xzibit, my name is Riley Freeman.

In the living room, Granddad is watching TV with his shades on.

Riley - If my granddad has one weakness, it's bitches.

Granddad is watching babes in bikinis.

Riley - He's been a lonely man ever since he had a bleach fight with his first wife and went blind.