Warp Pipes to Nowhere - A Detective Shy Guy Mystery

Chapter 7

I put my left fist curled in front of my face, and then wheeled my right hand – also curled in a fist – at the right side of my head.

"Director? You talkin' about Derrick T.?"

Derrick T., huh? That was interesting. I didn't go in for the pictures, but the name sounded familiar.

I nodded.

"Sure, yeah, big-time director. Does all the major movies and even some of the art-house indie ones. He's a real testament to Toads all over. Used to be talk that a Toad couldn't ever be big in the arts and, hmmph, now look, eh?"

"Yeah, yeah." said the Dry Bones, slurring his words and leaning over into my drink. "I hear he spends thousands a month on nothing but the golden goods going up his nose."

"What Derrick T. does in his spare time is not the question. The Toad is a revelation. Mario got him directing the remake of the Super Mario Bros. Movie. Bet a bucket of bones like you has even heard of that!"

The Dry Bones grumbled about something, leaned back toward his pal and took a drink.

"Anyway," said Tender T.. "Like I was saying, yeah, he's a big shot. What you want him for? This part of that case?"

Damn, Kappy. Wonder why I didn't bring him along.

I made a showing of looking left and right, and over my shoulder, then leaned real close to Tender T. and nodded, slowly. His face lit up. I could see his eyebrows rising above his eye patch. He even flipped it over just to show his excitement.

Then I shrugged, and fell back to my seat.

"You're looking for him, huh? Well, he comes in here now and then. Came in just the other week and i overheard some extras trying to get a spot in the film. Apparently he's filming not too far from here. On the old Mario Circuit track. You know how to get there?"

I did, so I nodded. Short train ride from these parts, just on the outskirts of Toad Town. Made sense that they were filming there too, the track has been closed for years.

"Mario Circuit, huh?" the Dry Bones said again. He was leaning into my now, heavily. I could smell the cheap shroom beer on his breath. I made a quick jerk with my shoulder and removed myself from his grasp, which sent him tumbling behind me and onto the floor. Once he hit the hardwood he collapsed into a pile of bones. The Shy Guy in the sombrero stopped playing.

"Damnit, Guy, not again," said Tender T. from behind the bar. I watched as that pile of bones started to shake.

And then all at once – pop! The Dry Bones was up off the floor and looking angry. The color of his eyes went from green before he leaned over onto me, and now a red as deep and burning as the magma in Bowser's moat.

I took a look around. The entire bar was watching, which was impressive all things considered since there was hardly enough light inside to you beer in you hand. However, a few feet of light was just enough for me to duck my head below his flung bone. It smashed into the mirror behind Tender T.'s head. The glass fell down with a clattering shatter.

"Okay, pal! That's it, I'm cutting you off. One more and you're banned for–"

Life. That was the word Tender T. was looking for before he was smacked in the kisser by a rogue femur. Silly thing to say to a pile of animated bones.

I was tumbling across the bar now, dodging bones like it was a bad take on a childhood game. I wasn't doing half-bad, though. Dry Bones nicked my shoulder on the third try but he didn't connect until I was about a foot from the exit. There was a time that minions of Bowser had an honor code. Never fighting wasn't part of it. But hitting a minion with his back turned certainly was.