Wait For You in 5 Stages

Pt. 11 : Limbo

I am simply flesh

I can open my eyes

I can move my legs

I can run

I can speak

I can think

I am Lumine
but I am only Lumine

I am just the flesh holding together a brain filled with memories. I cannot feel anything. It is difficult to remember anything. Who am I if I am not given a person or place? Who am I if I do not have a reason?

It has only been a few days... 14 days I think? I was given a chance to redeem myself. I don't know what for but the angels who dropped me off here said to me,

"Kind, young soul, is this your heaven?"

I think they were confused on why I was in the void.

On the day I died, the moment I passed, I was filled with so much love. As soon as I felt my body grow cold, I couldn't move any part of my body and I couldn't see anything but pure white. I felt so happy in those seconds. I knew I was dying and I couldn't resist it.

It felt otherworldly. When the seconds were up, I saw nothing but black and I had no body, mind, or soul. I don't know how to explain it but I was simply nothing. I saw it for probably a millisecond and I am just trying to fill in the blanks but I wasn't ANYTHING for god knows how long...

But now I can think and I'm glad I can.

For the past 14 days, I've been roaming around Terranevo, the town I grew up in. Except it is completely empty and abandoned. I have been living in bliss being able to revisit my childhood home. Though, I am lonely, and the blood on the floor is getting disgusting.

I believe I am in a place called Limbo. Though I don't know if this means I am between heaven and hell or between the living and the dead. No one is here and it is still snowing. I enjoyed looking at the shops and being able to eat whatever I wanted for free, although I can't taste anything...

As days passed, trails of blood began to follow me wherever I went and I stained the things I touched. It's as if towards my final days, I had one chance to see what I wanted because I hated seeing the blood stained snow everywhere. I went home and immediately ran to the mirror. It helped me recall one memory.

My ear was bit off, my neck was punctured, my clothes were ripped, pieces of skin gone and dripping fresh blood. I was in the same body I was in when I died. The claw marks on my hoodie sent a chill down my spine, I finally felt fear.

I want to go..home. I want to be ...alive...

Kody. I remember Kody. I remember a memory. A cold and dark place, no sunlight. I scratched figures and lines into the concrete wall. I would pace around the area thinking of him. Recalling the cage induced fear into me.

I must have died there. I left Kody.

Is he okay? What happened? I hope he's alive but that means he will grow up without me and I won't even be able to see it. I want to at least see him grow up. I WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE

angels, this is not my heaven

i want to visit Kody