Beiji

Author's Note

Hello and thank you for reading!

I just want to say first that this is a work of BL or M/M romance that is inspired by danmei. It isn't danmei because I am not Chinese and I'm writing in English. While the setting is loosely "ancient China," this story is not intended to accurately convey the reality of any specific timeframe or dynasty in Chinese history – it is fictional. While I've done research into various time periods, cultural practices, and the Chinese language, I am not an expert, and I wrote this because I love the danmei genre and the community that surrounds it. There are some things that I know are not accurate, such as Meng Yuan's name being used, literally, at all. He's the emperor, so no one would use his name, but I decided that he was unconventional and didn't care about things like that as an excuse to use his name anyway. As someone from the US, I'm sure I can never convey Chinese values or history appropriately, so it's better to consider the story to be set in a fictional location that has been inspired by China and by the Chinese fiction I've read.

I don't name the countries in my story. Only two are referenced, which I refer to as [X] and [Y]. If you have any fictional name suggestions, I would love to hear them!

The title of my story is Beiji, referring to the northern pole star (Polaris).

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Rape, sexual assault, rape victim to lover, violence, murder, children witnessing murder/violence, discrimination against character with a disability.

This story has some pretty serious trigger warnings. Please please please read them before reading the story [in an attempt to not go all-out Hemingway on you, I stopped at three pleases]. I would hate for someone to read this who might be triggered, as I delve into some pretty dark topics. While this may contain spoilers for the story as a whole, anyone concerned about the TWs can read this for explanations of the first three tags:

Rape and sexual assault are a recurring topic in my story, the worst of which is the first scene. After this scene, this instance of assault, as well as others, are mentioned but there are no further scenes of sexual violence. However, the main character, who was raped, spends the rest of the story dealing with the trauma of this assault. Rape and SA are never intended to be glorified in this story. Instead, my intention was to showcase the repercussions it has on survivors. However, this is a story of redemption, of forgiveness for the unforgiveable. The romance that occurs later in the story is between the main character and his attacker, after the emperor loses his memories. Wan Xue separates him into two people in his mind – the emperor who assaulted him, and Meng Yuan who has no memories and is completely devoted to him. Meng Yuan will get his memories back eventually, and the regret he will experience is intense. If any of these things still bother you, then don't force yourself to read it. I just know that when I see tags like the ones I'm using here, I tend to steer clear unless I know the specifics and think it's worth reading.

I'm including a brief summary of the beginning of the story in case anyone wants to skip this section. In that case, after reading this, skip to chapter 3. I'll be posting the first few all in a row so as to not dwell on the pain in between updates.

[The emperor, Meng Yuan, is informed by his uncle, Meng Shi, that a man has been arrested. His sister, Que Hua, arrives and the arrested man is brought into the room. She identifies him as the man who raped her while visibly upset and everyone leaves the room aside from Meng Yuan and the prisoner. Meng Yuan interrogates him, but receives no answers or any verbal response at all. He beats him and then rapes him to "make him feel what his sister felt." He immediately has regrets but sends the man to the prison afterwards.]