The emperor was not only taller, but also broader and – despite Wan Xue's years of strenuous manual labor – more muscular than Wan Xue. The sudden weight caught him off guard as Meng Yuan lost consciousness, but he managed to keep him upright. After a moment's hesitation, he lowered the other man to the ground, laying him on his back near the side of the road. His eyes were closed, his chest rising and falling as he breathed, his blood slowly soaking more and more of his clothing. Wan Xue's hand came away stained red when he let go of him and he hurriedly wiped the blood back onto Meng Yuan's clothes and then stood.
He needed to leave. This sudden and strange turn of events changed nothing. In fact, each thing that had happened since he'd first been arrested had been a sudden and strange turn of events. Nothing made sense anymore, and the sooner he was away from here the better.
Just at the moment, he heard more footsteps – multiple sets this time, coming from the same general direction Meng Yuan had come from. They were moving quickly, though not as fast as the emperor had run, and Wan Xue almost bolted immediately before assessing the situation. The only place he could get out of sight quickly would be his own home, and he absolutely could not be caught in front of the emperor's unconscious body. He'd already been blamed for enough. But if the emperor was unconscious in front of his house...
Making up his mind in a split second, Wan Xue leaned down and grabbed Meng Yuan under his arms and, walking backwards, dragged the man through his own doorway. Dumping him unceremoniously on the floor in the middle of the room, he closed the door silently, just in time to hear the footsteps draw ever nearer, down his own street and in front of his house.
Soundlessly, he drew the bolt down on his door and stood with his ear pressed against it, listening as the soldiers searched the street, his heart pounding in his chest, but no one seemed interested in knocking on doors. That didn't make much sense to him, considering it was the emperor they were looking for. Why were they being so secretive about it? But perhaps that was the reason for their secrecy. Clearly some mishap had befallen the emperor for him to be wounded and to have no memory. Perhaps they didn't want this to become common knowledge.
He only drew back from the door when the footsteps retreated, and he finally felt as if he could breathe again. Turning back to face his house, he saw the emperor's body lying prone in the middle of the room, practically taking up all the available space in his house. He let his pack slide to the floor and then followed it himself, leaning back against the door. Whatever had happened to the emperor had nothing to do with him. Best to just wait until the soldiers had been gone a while and then leave as well. Whether they found the emperor after that or not was none of his concern.
That's what he was thinking about anyway when he found himself unable to sit still any longer and he shuffled over on his knees until he was next to Meng Yuan's head. Looking at his face, he contemplated the likelihood of this truly being the emperor versus some strange doppelganger that also resided in the palace, and decided that of the two options he was faced with, only the former made any kind of sense whatsoever. True, Wan Xue had been beaten and abused till he lost consciousness that day, but this man's face was vivid in his mind, and there was no way he misremembered. Even if he was dressed simply, as was Wan Xue himself, there was no denying the man's identity.
Wan Xue's chest felt tight as he thought of that day, only a week earlier. He'd been hit before, kicked even, in various fights he'd been forced into over the years, and never having been trained and possessing no natural aptitude for it, he'd merely taken the blows offered and moved on. However, he had never in his life been hit with such force before – the bruises still littered his body, and his ribs still ached with each breath he drew. The strength and anger behind each of this man's attacks had been unprecedented, and adding to that the subsequent act of rape...Wan Xue had never been so thoroughly abused before in his life.
Anger caused his hands to tighten into fists, as he thought that if he wanted, he could take his revenge now. He could...what? Kill him? That would be foolish. If he was caught then he'd truly be executed this time. But he could still make him suffer without killing him. Hadn't the emperor done as much to him?
Grabbing a fistful of the other man's clothes just below his neck, he dragged him up off the ground slightly, his head falling back limply when he did so. Wan Xue pulled back his fist, ready to punch him again as he'd done in the street, only this time the man was unconscious and would have no way of blocking his blow.
He sat poised like that for a moment before he let Meng Yuan's head fall, and it slammed against the floor. But he lowered his fist without striking him and then stood abruptly, unsure why he couldn't take his anger out on the man even once he was unconscious. Confusion mingled with the anger and hurt and he reached up to wipe away a few tears that had managed to escape his eyes. Wasn't it right to want revenge? Then why was it that despite his anger and hatred toward this man, he didn't want to hurt him, not in the ways Meng Yuan had hurt him or otherwise?
All he wanted in that moment was to get as far away from him as possible and never see him again. That was all he'd wanted earlier as well, but apparently that had been too much to ask for because now, the very man whom he least wanted to encounter was lying unconscious on the floor of his own house.
Was it weak to want, instead of revenge, merely to be left alone?
YOU ARE READING
Beiji
Romance"In a life filled with unvoiced and therefore unanswered questions, if there was one thing with which Wan Xue was familiar, it was confusion." Wan Xue has never spoken, so far as he can remember. While his muteness innately comes with its share of d...
