𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏

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Another birthday

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Another birthday.
Another year of misery.
Another year of survival.

I take in a deep breath, and stare at my reflection in the mirror. A white satin dress hugs my body, stopping above my knees with the spaghetti straps revealing a hint of my cleavage. I strike my fingers through my long black hair that stop right before my waist.

I went for a simple makeup today, that’s what I usually do. My jet black eyes, covered with a thin stroke of a liner and a hint of pink blush with the dark nude lipstick I opted for matching my heels.

It’s my 27th birthday today. I turned 27 today. It’s been nine whole years. Nine whole years since that dreadful night. Nine years of misery.

Nine years since I have smiled genuinely.
Nine years since he left me.

How do I feel at this point? I honestly don’t have an answer for that. I feel nothing. It’s nothing new for me. It’s just another year of faking my smile and pretending to be happy.

And it’s fine. Why?
Because I have learned to live my life this way.

“ You ready?” Samiksha, my best friend, peeks in my room, asking me.

I did not want to celebrate my birthday. There are two reasons, first being I have a lot of workload. I got two clients whose hearings are scheduled next month, which means a lot of work which has to be done.

Secondly, it is nothing special for me. It is just going to be a waste of time for me. Let me just be honest, no I am not happy. I am just living. No.

I am surviving. Living would be an overstatement.

Samiksha has known me since eleven years. When no one was there for me, she was the only one there. I trust her. More than anything. But not enough to share what I feel. Because how do I do that? I myself don’t know what I feel at this point.

I feel …. numb. For nine years.  That is the only word I can use to describe what I have been feeling since the past nine years.

“ Yes,” I nod at her heaving in a deep sigh as I take a last look at myself and turn towards her.

“ You look so pretty,” she exclaims, as she wraps her arms around me and whispers, “ Happy Birthday, my love. I love you so much,”

“ I love you more,” I utter as I kiss the side of her hair.

“ Let’s go. Everything is ready,” she speaks with utter excitement.

“ You know that we have work to do? We can still cancel it,” I mumble knowing it will be of no use but still I do.

“ You have been saying that for the past week and my answer has been literally the same. No,” she announces.

“ Uff, come on. Chalo abhi,” I say.  ( Let’s go now )

_______________________________________________________

( At Justice Junction, Anya’s workplace )

Samiksha tried her best, to make me happy. I pretend in front of her. But she knows me. She knows me very well. She knows me well enough to know the fact that I lost myself that night.

I had a smile plastered on my face during our whole ride but she of course didn’t believe it.

Well I can’t blame her. She knew me nine years ago. She knew the happy, enthusiastic Anya.

She knew the Anya who would get happy at the smallest of things. Be it witnessing a cat or getting an A on a test.

She knew the Anya who used to get excited for a long drive or a sleepover.

But she is gone. That Anya is gone.

“ Now c’mon, close your eyes,” she said as she wrapped the blindfold over my eyes.

“ You know na, it’s only my birthday,” I mumble, adjusting the blindfold properly.

“ Come on now,” she told me, as she held my hand and led me through my office, the Justice Junction.

India’s well known law firm for the services provided here.

One thing I can proudly say, I have never lost a case. Not a single one.

And even my lawyers working under me, they have never lost a since once. Justice Junction is my home. If someone asks me what am I holding onto?

My answer would probably be Samiksha and the Justice Junction.

I take slow, careful steps behind Sam as I shout startles me.

“ Happy Birthday,” I hear everyone yell as someone shoots a party popper over my head. It’s too much. I don’t want this. I have work to do. I need to do that.

“ Oh my god,” I whisper as someone gently removes my blindfold and I view the hall.

It has been well decorated. No doubt it has been.

Black and white seems to be the major theme, with ribbons adorning the walls along with my pictures.

“ Thank you so much,” I whisper to Sam and hug her.

“ Senti na ho,” she says, as I turn to everyone who is present there. ( Don't be emotional )

Almost all the lawyers working under me are present here. Even some of my clients are also here. I thank almost everyone of them personally as the lights go off and the music plays and the disco light starts.

“ Let’s dance,” Sam says, pulling me towards the floor where everyone is dancing.

This is a law firm. Not a club. Oh god.

Samiksha starts dancing as I see Rudransh come behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and she startles for a moment but she smiles and hugs him. I don’t miss this opportunity to leave the dance floor and make my way towards the bar.

Vodka. That’s what I need right now.

“ A vodka shot please,” I ask the bartender as he serves me what I asked him for.

I gulp it in one go and ask him for more.
And more. And more.
Until the cake cutting is announced.

Vodka has helped me survive and thankfully my alcohol tolerance is high, so I can always manage.

“ Here’s to a new year,” I announce with a smile as everyone cheers with the wine and champagne in their hands.

I proceed to cut the three tier cake, which is literally matching my dress. I swear to god, this girl has put in a lot of efforts.

Right before picking up the knife I look at Samiksha who is already smiling at me widely. I mouth a ‘thank you’ to her as I pick up the knife.

The moment I drive the knife into the cake, I feel two familiar strong arms wrap around my waist and I feel a strong voice whisper against my ears, “ Happy Birthday, Little Devil,”

Your thoughts about Anya?

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