The Incredible Danny Phantom

New & Improved

Bob returned home and felt like a new man. Over the next few weeks, he began working out and getting in shape again. Bob bought his dream car, a brand-new hovering sports car, and a new vehicle for Helen. For the first time in years, he felt incredible.

. . .

As he dressed the next day in a tailored business suit, Bob noticed a tear in his Mr. Incredible suit.

"Hurry, honey, or you'll be late for work!" Helen called. Bob quickly stuffed his old Super suit into his briefcase and snapped it shut. He still has not told Helen that he no longer works at Insuricare. He'd been pretending to go to work every morning.

Helen hugged him at the doorstep. "Have a great day, honey! Help customers! Climb ladders!" she said, brightened by Bob's new attitude.

Bob waved from his new hovering sports car, revved the engine, and backed down the driveway.

. . .

An hour later, he pulled up to an enormous gate of webbed laser beams and leaned out his window toward the video security monitor.

The screen flashed on. "Do you have an appointment?" a guard asked stiffly.

"I'm an old friend," Bob answered. "I just wanted-"

"Get back, Rolf!" a husky voice suddenly barked over the speaker. "Go check the electric fence or something."

Bob couldn't see anyone on the screen but the guard. But a familiar face wearing huge dark-rimmed glasses rose into the bottom half of the screen. It was his old friend, internationally famous fashion designer Edna Mode.

"What is it?" she asked in her brusque but fabulous accent. "What do you want?"

Bob took off his sunglasses and grinned at the security camera.

Author's Note: I could not resist.

Edna, known to her friends simply as E, was stunned. "My God, you have gotten fat!" she said. "Come in! Come!"

The laser beams shut down. Bob drove through the gate and up the long driveway. E greeted Bob warmly as he entered her modern, gallery-like home. She reached up and took Bob's arm. She led him into her gigantic living room.

"Yes, things are going quite well, but"- she sighed -"you know, it is not the same. Not the same at all."

Bob nodded. "Weren't you just in the news?" he asked. "Some show in Prague?"

"Milan, darling, Milan. Supermodels-Hah! There's nothing Super about them. Feh! I used to design for gods!" Then E looked at Bob hopefully. "But perhaps you come with a challenge, eh?"

Bob held up his suit. "E, I just need a patch job."

E grabbed the torn suit. "This is megamesh," she told him impatiently, "outmoded but very sturdy, and you have torn right through it."

She looked up. "What have you been doing, Robert? Moonlighting hero work?"

Bob tried to sound casual. "Must've happened a long time ago."

"Ah," E said knowingly. "I see."

E stood up. "This is a hobo suit," she announced firmly. "You cannot be seen in this. I won't allow it. Fifteen years ago, maybe. But now!" She took her head and dropped the suit into the trash.

"What do you mean?" Bob asked, rushing to retrieve it. "You designed it."

"I never look back, darling," she said with a hand wave. "It distracts me from the now. You must have a new suit. That much is certain."

"A new suit?" Bob was shocked. "Where would I get-"

"Ask me now before I again become sane," E said. It was a hint.

"Wait," Bob said, confused. "You want to make me a suit?"

E suddenly began gesturing with her tiny arms. "It will be bold. Dramatic! Heroic!"

"Yeah!" Bob agreed enthusiastically. "Something classic, like Dynaguy. He had a great look. The cape and the boots-"

"No capes," said E, cutting him off.

"Isn't that my decision?" Bob asked.

E stiffened and reminded Bob of all the past caped Supers. "Do you remember Thunderhead?" she asked.

Bob cringed.

"Tall? Storm powers? Nice man," E said. "Good with kids. His cape snagged on a missile fun."

"Thunderhead was not the brightest bulb in the" Bob said, hoping to change her mind.

E raised an eyebrow and ran down the list of doomed Supers.

"Stratogale," she said. "Cape caught in a jet turbine."

Bob sighed.

"Metaman," E continued. "Express elevator. Dynaguy-snag on takeoff."

Author's Note: Or this.

E glared at Bob. "No capes!" she said with a finality Bob wasn't about to argue with. Then she smiled. "Well, go on," she told him. "Your new suit will be finished before your next assignment."

"I only need a patch job, E," Bob said, looking at his old suit. "For sentimental reasons."

"Fine," E sighed, taking the suit from Bob. "I will also fix the hobo suit."

Bob smiled at his old friend. "E, you're the best of the best!"

E closed her eyes and smiled. "Yes, I know, darling. I know."