The Strongest | ɢᴏᴊᴏ ꜱᴀᴛᴏʀᴜ

Chapter 46

Satoru has been pacing up and down the same hallway (y/n) left him in for the past fifteen minutes before Shoko dares to show her face. She stops him from going another round by standing right in his way, her arms crossed and a stern expression on her face.

"What did I tell you over and over again?" she says, and he finally looks at her. "You kept saying she wasn't good at what she's doing. Maybe you were just saying that even though you didn't mean it because you hated her, but every time she came back from a mission, I told you that she took care of all the curses in record time."

Satoru blinks once, twice. He knows this. He knows that weeks ago, even after their first mission together, where he had seen how good she was, he kept bitching to Shoko about (y/n) going on missions alone without him. Maybe, subconsciously, he knew that it wasn't about her lack of abilities but about her not needing him. Maybe he's always known that but didn't want to admit it to himself.

"To be honest, all I kept hearing was how hurt she was when she came back," he replies, and it feels weird to him to hear his voice. It sounds so... empty. God, what has he done? He pulls his sunglasses from his pocket and puts them on, glad to relieve at least one part of his body.

Shoko raises her eyebrows. "And you immediately assumed that's because she isn't capable?"

Satoru sighs and looks away. "I don't know what I was thinking." He sighs again. "Clearly."

Shaking her head with a little smile, Shoko looks up at him, and Satoru wishes that her brown eyes were (y/n)'s. He wishes he could speak to her right now. But maybe Shoko is exactly the right person to speak to. Maybe she can help him get her back.

"What exactly do you feel for her?" She asks the question that makes Satoru's heart beat faster.

He's still not looking back at her but down the empty hallway over her shoulder. What does he feel for (y/n)? It seems like an easy enough question. But what? Does? He? Feel? Suddenly, Satoru isn't aware of anything anymore. Why is it so hard for him to point a finger on this feeling inside of him?

"I don't know," he finally answers, and his eyes meet Shoko's. She raises her eyebrows in surprise, but this isn't what Satoru means. It's not that he doesn't have his feelings figured out. It's that he does, but he can't name them. "I don't know what it's called because I've never felt like this before."

Shoko's expression relaxes. "I'm a doctor. Explain to me what you're feeling, and maybe I can diagnose you."

He laughs, and it feels good to laugh, but then it dies away, and he thinks of all the things he feels. "When I'm with her, it feels like my heart is glowing. And when I'm not with her, everything hurts. I want to be with her all the time, and not just because she's the most beautiful person I've ever seen and can do things you wouldn't believe." He ignores the look on Shoko's face when he's saying this. "I mean because she makes me laugh, and she makes me feel safe, and she makes me everything I ever wanted to be. She doesn't like me because I'm the strongest, she likes me because I'm me. I can tell her everything, and I know she'll keep it forever. When she goes to the bathroom for just five minutes, I miss her. Shoko, I miss her."

Tears crept into his eyes, and he doesn't know what to do with them. Satoru doesn't like to cry. Tears used to be reserved for his best friend. But his best friend never made the promise to come back. He walked away from him, and he took all the color and happiness and laughter from Satoru's life. (Y/n) just... she just went away for an hour. She'll be back. She didn't leave him. Yet.

Shoko breathes out a soft laugh and gets his attention as he dries his eyes. "Doctor Ieiri is hereby formally letting you know that the feeling you are describing called 'love,' you dumb idiot. You're in love with her."