Camila reached a hand across the soft white sheets, seeking out the warmth from the body beside her. It came back empty and cold, the material cool against her bare skin. She edged one eye open, and then the next, blinking against the harsh light that streamed in from the quiet street. The sheets beside her were twisted and ruffled, Camila's heart beginning to race at the sight. She sat up, looking frantically around the room, loose bits of clothing decorating the floor and haphazardly strewn across her bedside table.
"Hey you."
Her head snapped to the familiar voice, letting out a sigh when she saw the girl lounging in the corner chair. Lauren's right knee was drawn up to her chin, and her journal lay open in her hand. Resting her pen gently against her chin, she dropped her gaze back to her notebook, the hint of a smile on her lips.
"Hi," Camila greeted as she pulled the sheet up around herself that had dropped to her waist during her slight panic. Lauren looked back up through her lashes and grinned at her, before closing the book and walking over to the bed. Leaning across the mattress, she placed a light peck to Camila's unsuspecting lips, before pulling back and sitting down next to her. Warmth spread down to Camila's chest and radiated out to her hands, where they gripped the sheet tighter around her naked body.
I could definitely get used to this.
Camila's teeth pressed gently into her bottom lip as she fought off the smile that was threatening to break free at the seemingly small gesture, causing Lauren to look away bashfully. Her fingers began absently toying with the leather strap on her journal, Camila watching her for a moment, before rolling onto her stomach and settling a pillow under her chin.
"Why were you over there?"
"I couldn't sleep," Lauren shrugged, still not meeting her eye. She unwound the string and began flipping through the pages, Camila for the first time seeing glimpses of what was beyond its dark brown cover. Every lined page was filled with endless words; paragraph after paragraph. It would sometimes break for a rough sketch of hands, or eyes, but then the words would just continue on.
After what happened last night, Camila more than ever wanted to know what was going on in Lauren's head. She wanted to know if what they did meant something to Lauren. She wanted to know whether last night changed anything for her, or was she still going to lose her in three days time. She needed to know.
"Read me something."
Lauren turned to her with scared eyes as she worried her fingers along the edge of the bound cover. Camila held them there, watching them flicker with a fear that she still didn't quite comprehend, nor did she assume to know the basis. The brunette tore her eyes away and cleared her throat, looking back to her lap, before speaking in a hesitant tone.
"What did you want to hear?"
That you love me, and that you'll stay.
"Anything," Camila breathed softly, before letting her eyes fall shut. She listened to the distinct flick of the paper, and of Lauren's deep breathing. It seemed like an eternity before she spoke again, her voice just as hesitant as before.
"Um, May 9th," Lauren murmured. "We were on the bus to Munich that day, remember?" Camila nodded, but kept her eyes shut, letting the sound of Lauren's voice wash over her, committing it to memory. "I love the way she looks at me. No one's ever looked at me the way that she does. It scares me that she can make me feel like I'm the only one in the room, or just by smiling at me can make my heart skip."
Lauren paused for a moment to take in a shaky breath. Camila didn't open her eyes as her chest began to ache and her throat started to constrict. A part of her was suddenly regretting asking the question, but the other part, the irrational part needed to hear these words. It needed to hear that these intense feelings she's had for the past two weeks weren't one sided. It hurt to hear, but the constant "what if" that would have plagued her after they said their goodbyes would have tortured her more than this ache, and this lump that she did her best to swallow.
