Chapter Twelve / No One Won The War

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“I DIDN'T KNOW she was dead until I came to

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“I DIDN'T KNOW she was dead until I came to.”

Ellie-Marie has barely had the chance to sit down before Kirby is speaking.  This talk is one she knows she should have been preparing for since the night Maddie died,  should have been mentally writing a script like she could rehearse what there is to say to the sister of the girl who died saving Ellie's life.  There's a thousand thrown out speeches that live in her mind each time she passes the threshold into Woodsboro, apologies to the girl who will never get out, pleas for forgiveness she doesn't deserve from the girl who did.  Ghosts petrify the fragments of her spine until she freezes in bed at night and relives it all in echoes of screams that she doesn't remember hearing but is sure she didn't dream up.  Guilt isn't a burden,  it's a weight Ellie placed on her own shoulders.

The source of it all comes from the same place her happiness does.  Love.  Love for those around her,  love for those she hasn't yet met,  love for those she's loved in passing and loved through their loss.  Guilt is so finely intertwined with love that she's sure the particles of each emotion are the true chemical compounds of her DNA.  Love, guilt, grief,  what is she if not the product of all three?

She's not too sure what Kirby is wanting her to say right now.  They're away from everyone,  sectioned off in this little side room that,  unlike the shrine room,  has aged.  The spider webs create a haunted feeling that Ellie thinks she should focus on more than trying to find a response at the moment,  taking a seat on the chairs up where she can only assume to be balcony seating.   Kirby follows suit,  hands clasping while she rests her elbows on her knees.

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