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Tuesday, August 15, 2023
"MUMMY I ALREADY TOLD you I'm busy. I can't make Saturday dinner," I explain, the phone awkwardly cradled between my ear and shoulder, fighting the many objects in my shoulder bag as I looked for my keys.
"What is more important than your family? I haven't seen you in months, bunny. We miss you. I miss you."
The clamor of my bag ceases as I find my keys. Gripping them tightly in my hand, I use my other to lift the phone from my ear, a sigh escaping as the weight of guilt tightens my chest. The sorrow in my mother's voice wraps around me like a tangible force. Reluctantly, I place the phone back to my ear. "I'm sorry, mummy. I just-can't be in the same room as your husband."
"I don't know what that fight you guys had is about, but you need to make up. He's still your father, Niccoya."
I close my eyes, attempting to shield myself from the vivid memory of shattering glass and the symphony of voices hurling hurtful words. The scene remains painfully fresh, each recall sending a chill through my heart.
"That's something you gotta ask him, ma. I'm about to be late; I'll talk to you later. I love you."
"I love you too, my baby."
The call concludes, and I briskly tuck my phone into my back pocket. My fingers trace the worn leather of my bomber jacket as I slip into it, the familiar scent of my perfume offering a subtle comfort. With a final, lingering glance at my surroundings, I step out of my apartment.
The journey to Hendrix is a cascade of fleeting moments. The rhythmic hum of the engine creates a backdrop for my thoughts to wander. So much has changed in a year. The person I used to be would've eagerly embraced the opportunity to return home for the weekend, reveling in the facade of family bliss.
But that was all a lie. My picture-perfect family had so many cracks in the frame-I just never looked close enough.
Three firm knocks yank me from my deep thoughts. I look frantically to the left and see Janae outside of my car window. I sighed, realizing I was so deep in thought I drove to campus and parked without realizing it. I could only hope I didn't run any lights before I got here.
