Love at Sea (Finnick Odair)

Chapter 37

It was 6 am and she found herself wide awake. It was hard to sleep with three men snoring like freight trains in your room.

She was restless and she was anxious, and these two feelings combined seemed to make her feel compelled to explore. Sitting still wasn't an option when no one else was awake to keep her distracted. Her mind was spiralling and catastrophising. Where was Finnick? Was he safe? Was he alive? Was he dead? Did he even know she was alive? Did he think she was dead? Would someone be able to find him?

She felt useless. She felt powerless. She could barely stand, so it wasn't like she could sneak off to go find her husband herself. She'd probably collapse before she made it out of the hospital. She had to rely on others, and she hated that feeling. Peeta had pinky promised her when she woke up from surgery that as soon as she was out of the woods and not at risk of going downhill, he'd demand a search party be sent out. He'd flat-out refused to leave the hospital and go petition the leaders until she was ok.

With Tyler and Buck here now though, she had more support, so as soon as the men woke up, she'd be sending them to demand Plutarch dispatch a team to find Finnick.

But until then, she had to do something to keep her mind busy. She didn't know what hospital she was at, so figuring out where she was on a map seemed like a good place to start. When she'd asked Peeta earlier where they were, he'd changed the subject. The only time the baker boy had left her side while she was awake yesterday was to go and make tea for them both. After he handed hers to her, he quickly snatched the mug back and swapped it with his. When she asked him why he did that, he said that he'd made the tea with milk first in the mug with the logo on it, which is why he took it back. Peeta would never make his tea like that though. He was raised better. She had brushed it off yesterday because she didn't particularly care, but now that her mind was hyper-fixating on the task of working out where she was, she felt suspicious of his behaviour.

As quietly as she could manage, Taiya gingerly lifted her legs onto the edge of the bed and rose to her feet. Every movement felt like an effort, she was wobbly and her vision swam with stars. She paused, taking deep breaths to steady herself as the lightheadedness subsided. With morphling running through her veins, she felt weak and unsteady. She had to grip the wall with one hand and drag her morphling drip along with the other as she stumbled out of the room.

Only a few steps beyond her door, she had to halt and lean against the wall, gasping for breath. Perhaps this walk wasn't such a good idea. But she didn't want to give in. Didn't want to retreat. Anything was better than sitting down idly, consumed with worry.

She took a deep breath before peeling herself away from the wall and continuing down the hall.

This time, she made it further. She reached the nurses' station before her vision started clouding with exhaustion again. Only one nurse was sitting at the desk. She could manipulate one nurse for information easily. So she let her legs buckle beneath her and she collapsed to the floor.

"Miss Ambersnow!" the nurse gasped, immediately springing up from her seat and racing over. "Miss Ambersnow, are you alright?"

"That's not my name," Taiya protested frantically, tears welling in her eyes as she squeezed them shut. As soon as she heard her maiden name called out, she immediately lost focus of her plan to find out where she was, and instead, her mind retreated into a panic over Finnick. "That's not my name. That's not my name. That's not my name," she repeated, slamming her hands over her ears as she curled into a ball.

"Taiya?" the nurse nervously addressed her as she hovered a hand over her. She wasn't sure how to proceed. "Taiya, why are you out of bed?"

"I got married," Taiya blurted out, disregarding the nurse's questions. "I'm Taiya Odair now. I'm not Miss Ambersnow. He's alive. He's alive. He's alive," she chanted, her voice trembling with desperation. "He's not gone. He wouldn't leave me. He would never leave me. He promised. We promised each other. I'm not a widow."