𝐁𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐓𝐨 𝐘𝐨𝐮

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟗- 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐃𝐢𝐯𝐞

April 13, 2022

I was mistaken. The fortunate day in March 2022 wasn't the most indelible date for me, this one was. April was a hectic month with my startling health issue and my imagination. My health issue had reasonings, but my visions had no answers. Where were these conflictions coming from and why?  I am not his friend.

Interestingly enough, I'm going to a follow-up appointment for my Hypertension. The neurology department of the hospital I stayed at, called to schedule the appointment and my dad picked me up from school earlier and was contemporarily driving there. The volatile pain in my depths were cooled and in the car ride to the hospital, my murderous screams were sealed. The scorching sensation on my temple vanquished. I am cured.

At the arrival, my dad cruised towards the cars in front of him. A man who was further away seemed to be selling parking tickets, he gave the stranger upfront a slip of paper and they passed their keys to him. I was given the wrong impression because the man hopped into the stranger's car and drove off. My dad clasped his wallet, taking a five-dollar bill from it. "When we get there, grab all your things." He said. Then, the situation connected, the man took the stranger's car so he could park it in the parking garage and the stranger wouldn't have to do it. He would do that for everyone and afterward he would arrive, returning our cars to us.

       -15 minutes later-

We were at the front of the car line, the man was gone, helping someone else. A woman waited for us, and I did as I was told by grabbing my phone and backpack. After the car was cleared, the woman seized my dad's keys and got inside the car. She started the engine and pulled back the stick shift, taking off.

"Hi, how may I help you?" A lady at the front desk prompted. "Hello, we are here for her appointment for 12:35." My dad answered. "Name?" The lady clicked her mouse, primed to look up my name on her computer. "Milena Hernandez. It is spelt, M-I-L-E-N- as in Nancy-A and Hernandez with a H." My dad clarified. The lady tapped the keys on her computer, searching for my name. "Yep, twelve thirty-five appointment with Dr. Clarke?" The lady verified. "Yes." My dad confirmed. "He's attending a patient; he will return in twenty minutes." She notified. We faced the waiting hall around us, and the seats were occupied. We exited the hospital and went outside, where there were steel grey benches. Three people sat on one bench, and we sat on the bench to the other side of them. I sat there, contemplating what I was going to do for the next twenty minutes as the fresh air brushed over my face.

"Trust me, you'll be fine. Breathe." His words were sympathetic in a delicate tone. "Where did you come from?" I caught my breath. "I'm always here, you never notice." Lucian gave me a fond look. "You're not real." I laughed. "Okay." He rolled his eyes playfully and laughed. "Don't think so negatively you've been through enough." He took my hand and placed it in his, rubbing it with his thumb. "What do you mean?"...

"No! don't take her from me, please!" Lucian pleaded, finding it hard to let go of the stretcher that raced through him. He broke at the sight of his resting love. Behind those closed eyes set nothing. "Please!" He shouted. The doctor looked at him with guilt, feeling dejected that she couldn't return his love to him, she would've fought everything to bring me back but, she can't.

I went from having my heart flutter to having glossy eyes. I was surprised I wasn't hyperventilating. I found it worst, that I had imagined this at a hospital. What is wrong with me? Have I gone insane? Should I send myself to a psych ward?  I thought. I escaped my world to find a sense of comfort and I know that I don't want this nightmare to come to life. The daydreams began as a sweet romance and has morphed into angst. I know I don't want this and somehow, I think to be in this exact film with him. Lucian was everything I could think about in this moment. I found pleasure. I like him. I know I do.  I confessed this fact to myself, and I couldn't deny it. I won't deny anymore. My feelings for him aren't rare. Nevertheless, I can't say that out loud and I'm not sure what to do. I won't and can't care to-

"Milena wake up, we gotta go." My dad alerted; the doctor was ready to attend me.

Why is a heart so mystеrious
A love blooms in an instant
Come inside and see it for yoursеlf
You can come into the deepest part of my heart

Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
Time to hesitate
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
Three seconds is enough
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
Yeah, it's so bad, it's good
If you want, dare to dive in

Narcissistic
My God, I love it
The night shone upon the two (Ooh)
The beautiful black eyes, diving deeper in
You into me, me into you
Hold your breath, love dive.