Love & Other Curses, 1985 | bxb | ONC 2024

CHAPTER 10 - I Want to Know What Love Is

But I have one want which I have never yet been able to satisfy... if I am assailed by disappointment, no one will endeavor to sustain me in dejection.

~ Mary Shelley, Frankenstein.

Thomas peaked at Adam through the rearview mirror for the hundredth time. He'd only been driving for a few minutes, but the besotted boys couldn't keep their eyes off each other for more than a few seconds before another silly grin took over.

Adam winked.

Thomas swerved.

"Watch it," Lilly yelled, whacking Thomas in the arm. "What's your problem?"

"Sorry, um...sorry," Thomas said. But even then, he still glanced into the mirror to see the pretty boy dressed in black, covering his mouth and holding back the laughter.

Lilly followed her brother's eyes, turned, and glared at Adam. "Are you trying to get us killed? And since when did you two start talking?"

"Since I stopped being a jerk," Thomas replied. "Not that it's any of your business."

She gave her brother a death stare. "Uh, don't forget I'm the reason you're even going to this stupid party. So, you're welcome."

Thomas bit his tongue.

But the siblings both knew the truth: Lilly wanted this as much as he did. She had even ditched the everyday ponytail and curled her hair. The Harding kids didn't go to parties, like ever, because what was the point? When it came to drugs, their religion was about 150 years ahead of Nancy Reagan's Just Say No campaign. Alcohol, sex, and recreational narcotics weren't exactly on the to-do list of devout Mormon youth.

Lilly had a few church friends and even fewer school friends, but she had her sports. No one picked on the leading scorer in soccer and basketball, but being a star on a boys' team came with an entirely different set of privileges. Lilly didn't get invited to events like this, and after one game, her brother had the team chanting his name.

She sighed.

The Chief would have let Thomas borrow his gun if he'd asked. Not really, but the point was she'd never seen her father that excited about one of her games, and of course, her younger brother had to have a breakout performance in his varsity debut, never mind what the freak had done. They'd stolen whatever hope she had left to capture the Chief's attention. He wouldn't remember the hat trick she'd scored just hours before the football contest come Monday.

It was always about the boys.

"Whoa, what's going on?" Thomas slowed down as they rounded a bend to flashing lights lighting the night sky at the pull-off on either side of the road. "There must be like four or five cop cars."

"It's a bust," Lilly said without concern.

Adam squirmed in his seat.

"For what?" Thomas asked. He peaked at Adam, and a hardened face replaced the smitten smile from a moment ago.

"Bunch of perves." Lilly shook her head in disgust.

Thomas' stomach churned. "Why would you say that? You can't see what's happening with all the trees. It's probably a drug bust."

"You're so naïve." Lilly chuckled. "Dad's been staking out those rest stops for weeks. Queers go there to hook up."

Thomas white-knuckled the steering wheel as they passed the crime scene at the edge of town while Adam looked out the side window, neither boy wanting to make eye contact with such a mood killer.

After clearing his suddenly dry throat, Thomas asked, "How do you know that?"

"Because I pay attention, brother, dear."

Thomas glanced at his sister's spiteful smile and swallowed. "Not at the party. I don't need you watching over me."

"That's my job."

"I'm serious, Lill. Don't—"

"Chill, Thomas. It's not like you have anything to hide unless you're afraid of me seeing your virgin lips kiss Debbie.

"What?" He gave her a surprised look. "Like you would know."

She laughed. "Oh, nice try. I've seen you two at school. That's why you're so desperate to go to Wally's house, but don't worry. I won't say a thing."

Between the gay bust and Lilly being Lilly, Thomas wanted to throw up. He looked at Adam for support, but he was still staring out the window. When the anxious boy couldn't take the silence, he turned on the radio only to be assaulted by Foreigner's latest hit, I Want to Know What Love Is.

Adam busted out laughing.

"Hey," Lilly protested when Thomas changed the station. "I love that song." She turned the dial back and the volume up. "You drive, I DJ—you know the rules."

Thomas grumbled, unable to stop streaks of crimson from coloring his cheeks because he did want to know what love was, and the boy he wanted to show him sat unabashedly in the back, belting out the drippy tune with Lilly and making love-struck faces.

Adam belonged in a band.

He had the voice, the look, and Thomas' full attention.

Miraculously, they arrived at Wally's place without crashing. Thomas parked at the end of the winding driveway because at least thirty cars already lined both sides. The slate-stone estate, awash in a palette of greys with large picture windows trimmed in white and landscape lighting, had two wings flanking the grand entrance.

Everybody Wants to Rule the World blasted from the backyard as they exited the car.

"Is Wally's dad a drug Lord or something?" Adam asked, processing the obscene wealth.

"Finance," Thomas replied with a chuckle.

"Ok, so the mafia's accountant," Adam joked.

Lilly walked ahead, creating distance from them as she peeked back over her shoulder. "Have fun, boys. Don't do anything I wouldn't." Then she sped off, not wanting to be seen arriving at a party with the high school heartthrob.

"Is she always like that?" Adam asked.

"Crazy?" Thomas laughed. "Yes."

Their bodies bumped as they walked along the sidewalk.

Adam watched Thomas rub his arms in the muggy air as if the attractive boy didn't know what to do with himself now that they were alone. Without warning, Adam pulled Thomas behind a large evergreen tree. "I've been dying to do this since you took me into the woods," Adam said, intertwining Mud Boy's long, talented fingers between his.

"Oh, what's that?" Thomas asked, his breath hitching.

He pulled the green-eyed boy closer, wrapping their interlocked fingers behind his back. "Hold your hand."

Thomas melted against Adam's firm body but still shivered when he looked into Adam's icy blue eyes. He gathered enough courage to ask, "Is that all?"

"Don't worry, Mud Boy," Adam replied with a knowing smile. He let his cheek brush against the side of Thomas' face and whispered, "I know what you want."

Thomas wet his virgin lips with anticipation.

Until Adam said, "But I want you to kiss me first."

AN: I hope you enjoyed the short chapter--seemed like the perfect ending point <3

1985 References: Nancy Reagan's Just Say No campaign to combat drug abuse launched in 1985, whereas The Mormon's "Word of Wisdom" doctrine was released in 1833, prohibiting the use of alcohol, drugs, coffee, tea, and other substances harmful for the body; The rest stop on route 20 at the edge of Northborough was frequented by gays looking to hook up in the 1980s and resulted in several documented arrests; Foreigners released I Want to Know What Love Is in 1985; Tears for Fears released Everybody Wants to Rule the World in 1985.