Felipe's
MOST of the times I am a man with a calm demeanor, and I usually use my head when I decide on things. Masasabi kong iilang beses lang sa buhay ko ako nagdesisyon ng kung ano – ano at alam kong madalas iyong magdala sa akin ng negative results – just like tonight. I realized that no matter how pure my intentions were, if Yaffa isn't ready then it doesn't matter. I saw how she was in so much pain. Hindi ako dapat nagpunta rito. It's just that I was so overwhelmed by the fact that her mother talked to me, that she actually wanted me for her daughter – pero maling – mali talaga ang ginawa ko. I should've waited for Yaffa. I should've asked her father if I can talk to her. Kung kaming dalawa lang, hindi ganito magiging kalaki ang gulong iiwanan ko.
Iiwanan... I am going home. Wala na rin naman akong gagawin dito. Yaffa went to her room, still upset with me. Hindi naman ako mabigyan nang maayos na sagot ng mga magulang niya, so I opted to just leave. Her mother seemed to be apologetic, pero kung ako naman ang tatanungin, wala namang kasalanan ang nanay ni Yaffa. She never told me to run here and confess my love to her father. She just told me to go and get her daughter. Dapat ay mas pinag – isipan ko pa ang mga mangyayari. I closed my eyes and I headed towards my car, pero bago pa ako makasakay ay napansin kong palapit sa akin si Santi – ang isa sa mga kapatid ni Yaffa. He is not alone, there is also Sabello, Rosauro and Alfonso.
I faced them. All of them were wearing plaid shirts, they have unbuttoned the first three buttons of their shirt, so it was like having a preview of their bare chest. I think they were trying to intimidate me. Waa naman akong nararamdaman kundi pagtataka. What is happening? Why are they coming closer.
Si Santi ay huminto sa tapat ko.
"Usap tayo." Malamig na wika niya. Bago pa man ako makasagot ay nilapitan na ako ni Sabello at Rosauro. They grabbed me by the arm and took me elsewhere. Nakasunod at nakamasid lang sa amin si Alfonso. But he doesn't look happy either.
Pumasok kami sa isang station ng mga kabayo. There were a lot of horses inside and I'm sorry for the lack of better words but it smelled like shit in here. Napaubo ako. They finally let me go, nahulog ako sa lupa, malapit sa mga dayami. I tried to get up pero tinulak akong muli pababa ni Sabello. He crossed his arms and looked at me as if judging my whole existence.
"Mas matanda ka pa yata sa aming lahat tapos ang lakas ng loob mong habulin ang kapatid namin." Oh, so they are all here to give me the shovel talk. I understand that. Ruel gives that kind of talk to our siblings. I fixed myself, tried to face them with all the might and dignity that I have. Tumayo ako at matamang tinitigan silang magkakapatid.
"What do you want from our sister?" It was Santi who asked me. "Tang ina, tinuhog mo ang kapatid ang pinsan ko, banatan na kaya kita!" Umamba na naman siya sa akin ng suntok. Pinigilan naman siya ng dalawang kapatid niya sa gilid. Rosauro looked at me.
"We have a lot of horses and I won't hesitate to drag you using one of those."
"Yaffa have suffered enough." Wika naman ni Sabello.
"She suffered, yes, finally, you are seeing her pain." Malumanay na wika ko. "Inaamin kong isa ako sa dahilan kung bakit siya nasasaktan ngayon, but I wasn't the main reason. Yaffa had been in pain for so long because she feels like an outsider to this family. For the longest time, her only priority is for your mother to be happy. She used to tell me that she needed to be your mother's strongest soldier because your mom is going through a lot before. The fact that she was hidden all her life from the eyes of your father messed her up big time. I'm sorry that I am the one to tell you this, but no one in this room hasn't hurt Yaffa. Lahat tayo ay nasaktan siya, lahat tayo ay may kasalanan. So if you're going to tell me that if I will only keep on hurting her, I should get away from her, maybe we should all get away from her, because all of us are the reason why she is like this."
