Melting Me Softly

*Chapter Four*

Song of chapter: Broken promise by John Dretto

Leila was finally coming back home. It's been five years already since she left and I couldn't wait to see her. That was what I thought until today. It's been five years since she left, without saying goodbye. She left at the time I needed her the most, and she knew I needed her the most but she still left.

Maddie, Leila and I had been friends since kindergarten. She was so smart and everyone wanted to be friends with her, but she chose me and Maddie among the others. She had a pure innocent soul and a cute smile and she still did; I could tell when we called and texted on Twitapp. She was the one who always knew the right things to say in every situation and Maddie and I depended on her a lot. In third grade, when her parents' separation took its toll on her, we were there, we were always there for her but she abandoned us after she made us promise to never leave each other alone. Maddie had forgiven her because she had her own reasons, very good reasons for leaving, but I couldn't, even if I had acted like it for five years. It was quite easy because she was far away and we never met face to face. But now she was coming back to San Francisco, and not just anywhere but to the very home she grew up in and to our very own school.

Maddie and Mason, Leila's partner-in-crime, had gone to the airport to pick her up but I stayed back and we promised to meet up at Zayn's back-to-school party. I think Maddie knew I wasn't ready to meet her yet, and so she let me be. And now, I was standing right in front of Leila Hamilton, my very dear friend who I hadn't seen in a long time and all I could do was fake a smile as I took a sad, painful trip down memory lane...

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'It's all going to end, the pain, the nightmares, the guilt; It wouldn't hurt once you end it. You might not be able to breathe again but you'll be free from it all, just jump Camilla, just jump....' The voices in my head screamed. A broken twelve-year-old girl, dressed in black, looked down to the ground from the roof of her home, thinking of taking her own life so she could find peace, even if it was in death, and that girl was me. I couldn't take it anymore, the screams I heard every time I closed my eyes to sleep; The guilt that savaged my heart when I saw my parents cry at the funeral today. I could have saved her, I had the chance to but I let her go. Now, I heard her every night calling out to me for help. I was too late, and now I lost my sister, my best friend the one who knew me the most, the one who loved me the most and it was all my fault. Why didn't I stop her? I would've stopped her.................

"Cam, what are you doing??" I didn't turn back but I knew who called, it was Maddie and her voice was already about to break, she was scared, I was too but I couldn't turn back. I didn't reply, I just looked on, until I heard Leila's voice, not breaking not shaking:

"You want to hurt yourself Cam, but doing that isn't going to relieve the pain right now, it'll just hurt more"

"That's a lie, and you don't understand. When I die I won't be able to feel this unbearable pain anymore, I can't live with it, I can't", I struggled to say in between tears.

"Then why are you scared?? Because you know nothing's gonna change the fact that Carmen's gone!!"

That statement hit all the strength I had away from me, I used my trembling hands to cover my ears, I didn't want to hear their voices, Leila's confident confrontation and Maddie's frightful sobs.

"No, no......." was all I could whisper.

"And if you don't want to live anymore, think about the people left behind. Your parents, your brothers, us!! Don't we all matter to you? Huh!!"

"I can't, I can't......" I stuttered starting to feel like I was in a haze when a pair of hands grabbed mine and flung me to the floor. I whimpered in pain as the hands held me tighter and rubbed my hair, and I could see a vague view of Maddie running towards us.

"Don't worry Camilla, we're here for you, we'll always be here for you", Leila sobbed into my hair and it was then I realized she had been crying too.

"Yeah, we'll never ever leave you", Maddie added.

"We promise to always stand by you, no matter what"

"No matter what...."

I just clung to them as tears rolled silently down my cheeks. I felt so lost, but now I know I had people I could hold onto..... forever.

A/N: Guys, I'm so sorry to have kept you waiting, but still don't forget to vote and comment.