Book: Pristine's Problem
Author: @sparklet11
Feedback:
The cover doesn't represent your story concept, not at all. It's just an image of a girl looking sideways and it doesn't illustrate what your story is talking about. As for your blurb, it is well written and good. You introduced us to two characters but I think you need to tell us how those characters are connected because from the very title I believe this story focuses on Pristine.
Chapter three started off randomly. Yes, it was well written and things described well but a female character opening the story by been drunk is seen everywhere. However, as from the moment Pristine met the witch woman, things became interesting. I doubted that it would end up well, but as from the moment she said she wanted Andrei's heart, I laughed because I knew how it would end. In general the first chapter had a little bit of suspense and humor and it brought us directly to what the blurb promised us.
The second chapter was a whole different story I went through waves of surprise. I didn't expect Avril and his family to be actual superhero. Yes, you spoke of it in the blurb but I thought it was a metaphor to represent a family filled with achieve members. That is the point where I say the cover doesn't give justice to this story and the title too, because it brings a whole different concepts in the readers mind. I liked your description of their powers and the way you spoke of Avril's misery. You made some revelation making me Understand that the witch woman was called Pandora, but then you ended confusing my own assumption by saying that the the reason for Andrei's death was in the room which was a good cliffhanger which only urged me to read the next chapters.
The rest of the chapters go on smooi. Revelations are made which builds the plot and character development is accurate. As for your writing, I don't have anything to say it's just beautiful. It's a good story, try to really change the cover though.
