Book: I'm right here
Author: @Lost Love Fairy
Review:
The plot was awesome and vivid and you even gave a little glimpse of your choice of title in it. However, the cover should be revisited. Yes, it had the image of a male and female implying Asfia and Faisal, but the multiple yellow flowers on it was too much. A cover with a darker colour would be perfect.
I appreciated the fact that you began your story with the protagonist meeting in the first chapter, this would prevent your readers from giving up on the book. Your little background check was also good. Not too long or monologue like. The way you wrote of Faisal made us love him. He was a broken hearted man yes, but he was honest and kind and making the readers fall in love with the main lead is very important. When readers read your story they should either love your characters or hate them.
In the second chapter I noticed that you included Asfia and Faisal texting. You wrote it all as if they were having a face to face conversation. Since it isn't physical, it's preferable if you write it in bold or italics:
Hey, this is Faisa. Just wanted you to have my number. Or
Hey, this is Faisa. Just wanted you to have my number.
That aside, I find the story plot slow and yes, Faisa isn't over his lost love, but there isn't any spark among those two in my opinion. There wasn't enough heartwarming scenes and I'm not talking of eye contact but something more. When you read they act more like two teenagers. Yes, they need to know each other but their conversation aren't deep enough and speaking of cars and cockroaches doesn't suffice.
Normally I read only the first five chapters but I had to continue to see if there was any character development on the side of Faisa and yes it happened but it came up too slowly. The fact that he actually got married to Asfia and still thought about his ex wasn't very pleasant. He claimed he was going to be faithful to her but a man thinking of another woman while with his wife is already betrayal and he was over comparing them, too much. As for Asfia, she should be more imposing trying all to make her husband love her. She just there wishing fora miracle to happen instead of putting her own pace.
Sort from that I think your writing is beautiful.
