Xalia Squalor; because sometimes being in is not enough

Rich, pretty and In

"One hundred."
I sigh, putting my hairbrush down. Count Olaf, the star of this city wide manhunt is in my house, and there is nothing I can do, other than go along with it. If this all works, we wont just have two sets of orphans, but we'll have a better chance of finishing the tea set. The sugar bowl will be ours. Mum will be happy, and she'll finally be able to live with her boyfriend. I think Olaf is her boyfriend. My dad doesn't know, and can't know. Jerome doesn't need to know. Like mum said, he'd be sad if he knew. Maybe he deserves to know. I thought cheating was bad... I should stop thinking about that. I look to the mirror, and twirl round. Mum has been insistent on us matching ever since I was little, so I can assume she'll be wearing the same outfit as me. The skirt is really short. That's new, but who cares? First impressions are important. First impressions are very important. Do I go downstairs and greet the orphans at the door? Do I wait in the living room? I honestly have no idea. There is a knock at my bedroom door, and I call, "Come in!"
The door creaks open, and mum walks in. I knew we'd be matching. Mum smiles at me and hugs me, before taking a step back and saying, "Armpit length hair is so flattering on you, Xalia May. I knew the hairdresser was a good stylist. And you're a pretty girl anyway. But now onto the important stuff. How do you want to enter when the Baudelaires arrive?"
"What are my options?" I ask, fluffing up my hair in the mirror. Mum steps behind me, also fixing her hair in the mirror. She says, "You can wait for them to arrive and be at the door, sit in the living room, or come down the stairs with me. Now, waiting for them to arrive means it'll be a little awkward most likely, sitting in the living room sort of ruins our plans, and then coming down the stairs with me is the best option. But it is your choice."
"I'll come down the stairs with you," I smile, gasping as the doorbell rings. Mum sighs, and heads out my bedroom, to which I follow her. She walks, head held high, until we reach the last set of doors before the stairs. Mum gives me a thumbs ups and we both walk out. Mum says, "My name is Esme Gigi Genevieve Squalor, and I am the cities sixth most important financial advisor. I am rich, famous and most importantly, a mother."
"My name," I smile as we reach the orphans, "Is Xalia May, spelt X A L I A. I'm rich, pretty and in. I mean, you probably know me. Modelling isn't for the weak, and I am not weak. Weak is one of the few things I am not."
"And aren't you lucky that orphans are in," Mum beams, "Aren't they, Xalia?"
"So lucky," I nod, handing her an aqueous martini. The eldest one, Violet, looks at me in confusion. I smile at her as she looks me up and down. Mum continues, "Wait until my friends find out I've got three real life orphans living with me! They'll be sick with jealousy. Won't they, Xalia?"
"So sick," I agree. Mum smiles, "You'll have such a glamourous life with me, your eyes will turn back in your head. Children, here are some things you should know. Dark is in, light is out. Stairs are in, lifts are out. Pinstripe suits are in. And those horrible clothes you are wearing are out."
Jerome says, "What my wife means is that we hope you are comfortable here. We wish we could've helped you."
The middle orphan, Klaus, says, "Well, we're glad you like orphans now, because we need help finding our friends."
"The Quagmires?" I ask. The orphans nod and I say, "Yeah, I've heard of them. If there is one good thing about being rich and powerful is that you don't have to be anxious. You live in a penthouse now. You'll never want anyone again."

A newspaper flings into the house, and mum grabs it. She looks down at it, and screams, "BIG FAT FANTASTIC NEWS! About what we were just talking about!"
"Have the Quagmires been found?"
"Has Olaf been captured?"
"Better!" Mum squeals, "Baudelaires, open the curtains in the living room. Jerome, turn the lights on in the west wing. Xalia, help the Baudelaires. I'll run round in panicky circles."
I lead the Baudelaires into the living room, and say, "Welcome to the penthouse, Baudelaires. I know you've gone through a lot, but while you are here, you'll not need to worry. I should be here till the end of the week, unless my agent finds me some more work."
"Xalia?" Klaus asks, "What does your name mean?"
"Well," I sigh, "My name should be spelt Xaria, and be said differently to Zar lee ah. It should be Zar ree ar. My name doesn't mean anything, as far as I'm aware. And then May is a month. Xalia May. It's really boring. Violet, Klaus and Sunny are... names. Sorry, I shouldn't be... just open the curtain, oh my lord."
I shake my head, groaning as I walk to the door. The curtains are dragged open, and Olaf smirks, "Hello, hello, hello. Does this seem like a nightmare? A bad dream? That's the effect I was going for. I have bad dreams too. I wake up, screaming. The only thing that comforts me is the thought that you'll be in my clutches like another pair of orphans."
"MRS AND MRS SQUALOR! OLAF IS HERE!"
Mum and Jerome burst in, and Olaf sighs, "It is true, what the little orphan is saying. Olaf is right here."
Olaf shows a photo of himself, and I say, "It's obviously not, Olaf, Baudelaires. I was here the entire time, and the only person who has been here is Gunther. You... you aren't afraid of foreigners, are you?"
"What? No?" Violet splutters. Olaf smirks, "Good, since that wouldn't be very noble of you, would it?"