I've returned from the past

Chapter 24

When he wakes up, it occurs to him that Edwin is still there. 

"You aren't supposed to be here," he mumbles into a pillow. Edwin doesn't bother to move as the birds tweet outside in the morning warmth. Not that he feels warm in the slightest. He might as well be a corpse. 

"You called for me." He closes his eyes in defeat. 

"I suppose I did." His voice is small, insignificant, hoarse. 

Edwin props his chin on Hadrian's shoulder. It wasn't often they slept together like this and it doesn't particular make him feel any better besides the fact he was addicted to the feeling of comfort and love. 

A few things don't change he supposes. Being deprived of it for too long does seem to make you go insane- just like any drug would. Especially when you were given it in quantity by a lover that so adored you. 

A lover that so confused you. 

"Remus hasn't come in yet." 

"He knows I'm in here with you." Hadrian shuffles around and looked into red eyes- red eyes of a different kind. Red eyes with kindness and worry and confusion and honesty- Hadrian buried his head into Edwins chest- staring at the white shirt he wore. A hand gently steadied the back of his head and the only reason the seventeen year old was doing this was because he knew Hadrian was older than he appeared. 

He'd known from the beginning. Although he doesn't know how old- he knows. 

Hadrian closes his eyes and thoughts swirl in his head. 

Tom. He had been possessive, manipulating, observant and powerful. But Hadrian had slowly managed to soften the negatives. To shape Tom into a human and not a Dark Lord controlled completely and wholly by dark power. 

Tom had been paranoid as well. Very, very paranoid and had been scared- desperate. Paranoid that Hadrian would turn his focuses to Thaddeus or Reinhard or Aiden. Or even one of the women. He had been paranoid that Arcturus would arrange Hadrian's marriage to another family or even to someone within the family like Orion and Walburga. 

He'd been scared that he wasn't worthy of Hadrian's attention- and honestly there was good reason for that. By Merlin when Hadrian had first been reborn as a Black he had enjoyed life. He'd become a person- he'd done things he never would have done and he'd become better. Until he'd seen Tom in Hogwarts and everything had just crumbled. He'd not hated Riddle, but he definitely had had no love for him either. Being in the same house made it quite difficult to hide such feelings. 

Then he'd changed. Tom began trying to seek out Hadrian, his attention and his aid in classes. To the best of his ability. Which wasn't a lot considering he couldn't take a lot of social cues. So Hadrian had learnt to be expressive in the beginning so that Tom could slowly begin to read him. 

Of course that backfired in the future when Tom was able to read everyone as Hadrian had slowly began hiding his emotions too so that Tom would understand everything. That could be marked as a severe failure.

But... Tom had been desperate. For his attention, for his friendship, for his knowledge. For his power. There was a time when he'd discovered his magic had changed from his first life and become harsher, meaner and stronger. And Hadrian had begun to wonder if his magic reflected the way he'd previously died. But now... now Hadrian had to wonder if Tom had ever wanted his friendship. Or ever wanted to hang around him because of who he was. Had Tom slowly fell in love or was it not love at all? 

Was it all a ruse and Tom just had to act to keep Orion, Reinhard and Thaddeus close- to keep Hadrian close. To keep Hadrian loyal-

Merlin he wouldn't put it beyond him-