Phoenix in the Light

Betrayal

Writers Note: Be the hero long enough and you'll see yourself become the villain and hurt people hurt people. Anger and Strife are the greatest of humanity's flaws, wrath is just as horrid a creature to follow the path of... Jamie has taken that path.

TW: Ghost's trauma is heavily talked about, emetophobia, child death is implied. Some light smut, fingering.

Playlist: Give- Sleep Token, Darkness at the Heart of My Love- Ghost, Bother- Stone Sour, Easy Woman, Lovin' Woman- Sweet Desire, Love Buzz- Nirvana, Miracle- Bad Omens, Animal I have Become- Three Days Grave,  Bullet with a Name on it- NonPoint

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I was in a dream, there was no bed that was this comfortable in my life. I had never been this warm, never felt this safe, never been this happy. I could lay here for decades and never open my eyes, never have to face the world around me ever again if I just stayed here.

A breath behind my ear made the hair on my neck stand on end, and my eyelids fluttered open to the red haze of the morning light streaming through the blackout curtains of Simon's apartment bedroom. I was surprised I woke up before him, considering the marathon of sex that had happened in this bed last night, but upon turning over and seeing his body so still, naked, and ripe from our love-making, I had the vaguest sense that he was sleeping properly for the first time in ages.

Watching him sleep bordered on the profanely creepy, but I could help the awe I had upon looking at his muscles expand and contract with restful breaths or his maskless face without a single concern in his features. He was so beautiful, the sheet sitting just below his waist and his hands relaxed at his sides, there was no insomnia, no nightmares, no fear for either of us in this bed. I would enjoy him like this until the world ended.

"It's impolite to stare," he murmured, the voice of a God in his waking state. But he remained unmoving, not even letting his eyes open to behold the absolute mess he had made of me. My hair was in tatters, sticking up in different positions, my skin layered in all kinds of markings that I could imagine would still be there for several days.

I sat up in bed, attempting to run through my hair without success. I needed a shower, I needed to put on some clothes and attempt to be a human again. But instead I curled myself into his body, his arm instinctually wrapping around my torso like we had done this a thousand times before. "I can't help myself..." I whispered to him, laying my head down on his chest that was covered in a tattoo just for me, "I never get to see you like this."

"I never am like this," he said immediately, the words hitting deep in my core and a painful reminder of what was outside this room in those boxes came to me. "I've never shared a bed with a woman before, I've never slept beside one, I've never... cuddled."

The word sounded so foreign coming from him, a small giggle bubbled up from my stomach, "if you're not comfortable, tell me," I said lifting my head incase this was too much for him, but I got the feeling that he would have told me of something he wasn't okay with by now. There were few things we hadn't done throughout the night that had crossed barriers I didn't even know existed for me. The image of him fucking me so hard in the mirror flashed through my head, and then my body. The first time I had looked in the mirror in six months and I witnessed the two of us coming undone in each other's arms. Like heaven on earth... it was the hottest thing I would ever have the pleasure of seeing. My face hadn't disgusted me the way that I thought it would, although it had still shocked me at first, the way I didn't recognize myself or the person I was looking at. But it was my eyes, somehow having gone from a little girl's eyes to a woman's eyes over the course of the last year.