low lows

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Adora's POV
TW: Self harm
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Recently I've been having nightmares. They haven't been this bad since i broke up with Marina. Usually nightmares are normal but i keep having them every time i sleep, even when i don't mean to. They keep making me have accidents and I have to go to the laundry place every day. I do not know what's wrong with me. The worst part is they are about Kiara and Vernie, they take advantage of me when im little, just like how Marina did. It makes me scared-er to regress infront of them but i have a little bit before, and i know they wouldn't do that but i still feel worried about it.

Tomorrow is my birthday and i hope im feeling better soon. I feel like I want to cry. This usually happens when I hold everything in. I miss Kiara and Vernie. I'll call Kiara.

"Hey baby."

"hey." I like hearing her voice.

"What are you doing?"

"..." I stay silent. "i don't know." I'm starting to slip because im not feeling well. I've been laying down for hours.

"What are you upset about?"

".."

"I'll be over in a little."

After a little while Vernie opens my door. I forgot to lock it. She sits beside me and moves my hair out of my face. I thought Kiara was coming.

"What's wrong princess?"

"i don't know."

"Do you want to go for a ride in the car?"

"no."

"We can get McDonald's."

I love McDonald's but i just can't get up.

"not hungry."

"That's okay. Do you want to go to the mall?"

"no..lithium." I think I might have to take my medication again.

"Lithium? Is that what you want?"

I nod.

"Okay, I'll get it for you princess."

Vernie waits until Kiara is here to leave. Even though I said I didn't want to go out, Kiara is still making me.

"no!! i don't want to change. i don't want to go outside."

"It will help you." She makes me go to my bathroom with her and takes my clothes off.

"i don't want bath."

"You love baths."

She puts me in the bath then gets in with me. At least im not by myself. I lay my head on her chest. The water does feel nice and warm.

"How long has it been since you've stopped taking your medicine?"

I shrug, I can't remember that far back.

"More than a year?"

I nod. I didn't think Id need it anymore.

After our bath, she makes me go outside with her. We walk around campus for a while, and I feel a lot better than before. I show Kiara my favorite place. Behind the dorms there's an opening in the woods and it leads to a bunch of flowers in one spot. But around it there aren't many flowers that grow. That's why I like it so much, it's weird.

"its cool right?"

"Do you come here often?"

"yea. its quiet, th-that's why I like it so much."

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