DIAGNOSIS: LOVESICK ; jjk ✓

chanyeol x sena one-shot

(post-graduation/pre-residency)

"You won't be away, right?"

Chanyeol jerks his gaze away from his phone and turns his attention back to Sena whose coffee has gone cold, only half-consumed. He has no idea whether she has cut down on caffeine lately or has changed her go-to coffee order and is just polite to refuse it, but maybe he should've considered asking her what she wanted instead of ordering the usual. You think you know everything. Chanyeol is still figuring out himself around the changes in their lives, and there's a bit of sadness lingering in all of these tiny adjustments he's learning to pick up. He has to accept them, but it feels like a lot. All of it feels too much on some days.

If Rayeon were here at the table with them, he would've had a beer in his hands. They would've been sitting inside a dimly lit bar. Rayeon insists that they're grown adults who are supposed to be nursing alcohol on a weekend night instead of coffee just to keep themselves awake for long hours of studying or during the times they were in the night shift roster of interns.

"We'll work in the same city, so I don't know what you mean," Chanyeol says as he can see the unmistakable worry in Sena's face. She's probably unaware of what her eyebrows do when she's troubled—they always draw together. She thinks it doesn't show but it's there when given a chance. He does his best to tamp down the same annoying feeling bubbling up in his chest and drops his gaze, not brave enough to let his eyes fixate. He can't have this. He has worried enough about many things which are out of his hands despite how calm he's tried to appear, but this should fall within his control. The emotions have become known to him just for a while and should be gone soon anyway—could only have come from overprotectiveness especially in light of the recent events. Sena's still going through a tough time and needs as much support as she gets.

"I know, but..." Sena's words falter. He wishes she could say more, tell him more about anything, and then he can pick it up from there. They're not the best at talking but they try. It's easier when he's not the one to initiate things. And maybe that's one of the worst sides of him—only a few would like him for that if they knew. The thought of it oddly hurts his feelings.

"But what?" he asks even if he knows, relaxing his stiff shoulders as he makes it seem that there's not a reason to worry.

It's a little difficult to talk about the new setup they've had after graduation, and as much as he's gotten terribly used to his friends' presence, he knows he's got to be with other people, too. Sena has once expressed her fear about life after med school, but Chanyeol still finds it hard to know how she feels about everything, especially when she seems neutral even about things she seems to be scared of.

Now that he thinks about it, they're just so similar in a lot of ways that it's almost painful—because the connection should be there, right?—but they also feel too apart to be in sync with her as much as she had with Jungkook. He wonders what it is that looks unfitting between him and his best friend. It must be his fault. He feels like a thief wanting what's supposed to be not his—and it's ugly and gross and you don't betray the trust of someone who keeps you as their friend. However he's happy around her. He's happy with her. It would take just a few steps to ruin their friendship and destroying something is always easy, but he's great at holding back. He'll be happier staying where he is.

He's been told he becomes the worst person when he tries to get whatever he wants. He's been toning it down since the start of college. A suspicion still hangs around that people were right about him—he'll never meet someone who can tolerate his personality. I can't be greedy again.

"It won't be the same," Sena answers, wistfulness in her voice.

Sometimes, he wonders, and then he feels this urge to get into her head—his guts tell him he would've been lonely if he did.

Sena's right. And she looks sad about it. He hates that look on her, it's unfair that something always makes her lonely. Chanyeol sighs, ignoring the way his chest tightens. He musters a smile that's a little smug than he's intended it to be, and says to keep it cool, "I'll visit you and Rayeon when I can. I'm either at home or at the hospital, in case you guys need me. We'll all be fine. Meanwhile, I'll work extra hard to be a better doctor than anyone else in town."

The distraction quickly works, because Sena takes the bait and manages a small condescending smile. "I'll get ahead of you before you even know it."

He knows that there has always been a quiet competition between them since the first year and he was pissed off that Sena was as good as she could be at first, though Chanyeol has learned not to care if he's being honest. Sena seemed to take it a little more seriously though, which he understood why even if it's hard to wrap his head around. They've bonded over it apparently, no matter how strange the dynamic worked out in the end.

It felt a bit pointless to get along with anyone else.

Chanyeol always aimed to stay on top of everything ever since he got in school and his classmates told him that he was a little insane when it comes to academics, but it was all that matters to him at that time. So when he found someone who equally had an eye on the same goal, it was easily riveting.

Sena puts in the effort and doesn't see it as a chore. In the first few weeks of his freshman year, Sena was the only person he had constantly seen staying up late at the university library, and that sight alone made electric shock thrum underneath his skin. Passion is electrifying. Drive excites him to the core. They've pushed each other up and have oddly drawn out each other's best abilities.

She's the most hardworking person Chanyeol has ever seen. She kept him on track for the most part. With Sena around, he can do more. Nobody understands his concept of hardwork like she does. She probably doesn't have a clue how grateful he is for the friendship they've formed.

"You tend to forget I graduated top of our class," Chanyeol casually says, his tone flat.

"I have to admit you're the most brilliant guy I've met—" Sena's gotten better at complimenting people while having the most passive expression and he should be getting used to it, but Chanyeol still feels his cheeks heat up that makes him want to grin, "—but your class standing isn't the most reliable basis for everything. I study more than you do."

Chanyeol can't refute that. But he raises an eyebrow and sarcastically tells her, "And still lose to me?"

Sena's lips purse in a thin line as she leans back in her seat, staring hard at his face. Chanyeol has known her for too long that he can differentiate her blank look from all others—this one's not offended, and is definitely mildly entertained by the challenge he didn't mean to dish out on the table. "I'll win a national resident research award."

He scoffs, fake-mocking, one born out of fondness as they already both know. "Yeah? I'm sure you'll do," because it's you, and you work hard for everything you want, "but I doubt you wouldn't see my name on that list. I won't be left behind."

. . .

a/n: both of them, in fact, won national resident awards for scholarly achievement :D