2 me's

Part 5 - 17th April

I have never been so scared. I mean that nightmare about being eaten by a wolf and showing the blood and organs was pretty traumatic. RN I am shaking and trying to hide it at the same time.

I came back from holiday a few days ago. I had great fun and the 'other me' couldn't poison my thoughts. I was checking my emails and it turned out that my friends had written to me. About this story. Gosh, I was scared but after reading it. I wasn't so much. It kept saying how they WERE my friends and that they could always help me. Which I smiled about.

And for once the 'other me' had nothing to say. 

So you might be wondering why I am so scared. Well after I came back. i feel like they have been trying to make up for whatever they have done to hurt me. When they haven't. They might not be doing that. But from my point of view it looks like that. It's lunch right now and I was sitting with them talking and brought up the subject of this book. I think i panicked and made an excuse to 'go get my bag'. I don't know why I ran out and while running I thanked Goodness for making me leave my bag with my other friends. I guess they noticed I was running and realised I was trying to avoid the subject. Which I was.

I came to the library and started writing in a study room. Which people use more for games. They are outside wanting to talk to me rn. They came in asking to talk to me. I made an excuse and refused. I am great at making excuses. I don't want them to feel bad for bringing it up It's nice to know they are concerned. 

I was trying to avoid them. I felt bad for it. I am good at disguising myself and hiding in plain sight. The last thing I need is them going to tell a teacher or something. I had a lesson with two of them. I was feeling down and wrote how 'the other me' made me feel.

"Stop writing sad things," one of my friends said

I can't help it.

She asked again are you lying to us. Now that is something I NEVER do. The only time I lie is in dangerous situations or for my or someone else's protection.

"No, I am not a good actor," I said back . Now that was a lie