Suburban Blues // Billy Hargrove

XXV - clean up

The clock read 3am when she finally heard that familiar noise of Billy's boots climbing up to her window.

The last of the party go-ers had left a mere twenty minutes prior and Kat was currently taking off her make-up in her bathroom after checking Dustin and his friends were all okay and asleep in the basement.

"What time do you call this-"

Billy stood in the doorframe of her bathroom, his lip burst and bleeding as well as his eyebrow that had a nasty deep cut, blood still pouring down from it. His eyes were dark but not from bruising but rather from tiredness, he looked utterly defeated.

"Oh my god" Kat breathed.

She silently got to work on cleaning him up, he didn't say anything and she didn't want to pry. He looked exhausted enough, she figured asking him a round of questions would only add to that no matter how badly she wanted answers.

It wasn't the first time she'd had to tend to his wounds and she hoped it wouldn't become a regular thing. Not because she didn't want to help but because she hated how sad and empty his eyes looked whenever she did. It was as if his mind went somewhere else completely, she wished she knew where and maybe she could understand him better.

"I'm sorry I missed your party" He said quietly, his voice hoarse.

"Don't be sorry" She replied.

She continued to wipe away the dried blood on his cheek, his skin was red on its own from how much she'd had to rub it. She wished she could just kiss all the pain away instead but until that was possible, she kept wiping.

"I promised I'd come" He reminded her "I'm sorry I couldn't"

She shook her head waving her hand in the air to halt his apologies, the last thing on her mind was the fact that he hadn't shown up to a party that she could easily repeat any time she wanted.

"I don't give two shits about the party" She said "I wanna make sure you're okay"

His eyes flickered up to hers instead of down at his knuckles like they'd been for the past ten minutes.

"Why do you always help me?" He asked.

Her eyebrows scrunched together at his question, wasn't it obvious?

"Because I care about you" She replied.

She knew that he was adamant on keeping their relationship strictly physical but she wasn't going to neglect his pain for the sake of not crossing lines. It was obvious he didn't have anyone to help him when he ended up in these situations.

"You care about me?" He repeated in a soft tone as if trying to process the words.

"Obviously, idiot" She said with a laugh trying to lighten the mood "I don't get my good face towels covered in blood for people I don't care about"

A smile crept on his face at her response, the motion feeling foreign on his lips after the hellish night he'd just endured. He wasn't used to having someone look after him and care for so long, he'd almost forgotten what it felt like entirely.

"You deserve better than this" He sighed "...than me"

"What are you talking about?" She prodded.

He knew his affiliation with her was selfish, he had from the start. He didn't think it would have gone on so long or gotten quite as deep as it had but regardless he was here and now he didn't know what to do.

He didn't date, he'd made that rule a long time ago and despite the ever-growing feelings he was developing for Kat, he couldn't change that. He wouldn't survive it, he barely made it through his mom leaving without breaking down completely. His father didn't give him a chance to grieve, to talk about why she left or how it was okay to be upset. Instead he got punished, got hit in the face and told that it was all his fault for not being good enough.