The Reason? - Yoon Jeonghan

Chapter 52

Ophely laid in bed that night after having thanked all of the boys for the impromptu birthday evening. It wasn't as big as what they had for the two other February boys, though she was glad for it. She preferred this familiar environment and simple things. They hadn't forced her to do nothing, repeated at her all day long that she was officially a year older. They had let her forget for most of the day, and organised a dinner with everyone. And a cake, simple and not too sweet, how she liked it. It was simpler than at home, than with her parents. Home was a weird place now.

All sweet birthday wishes as each and every one of the members retired for the night, she thanked the last three that volunteered to clean up, and waited for that particular one to come and rest in the bed above hers. Jeonghan came in quietly after brushing his teeth, changed into his PJs in the dark, and slipped into his bed.

Ophely brushed her tears away, took a deep breath in and, "I'm sorry for ignoring you, Jeonghan." She heard shuffling above her and suspected that he moved in his bed. "I just-" She gulped. "I didn't know how to go about it. And I know I hurt you." She couldn't keep brushing the tears away, they were flowing down freely now. Her words were breathy, broken and faint. "I went about my actions the wrong way. Please forgive me..."

"Come here." He told her. Ophely looked up to see him holding his covers for her to slip below. Like a slug, wet and dragging her body, Ophely took her place beside him. Jeonghan wrapped one arm around her head, letting her take her place on his shoulder, holding tightly onto his t-shirt and crying against his side. He threaded his fingers in her hair and massaged her scalp. She nuzzled closer to him.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For kissing you when you clearly don't care in that way about me."

Jeonghan stopped his movement, he hadn't expected her to take it that way. "What told you that?"

"You didn't do anything."

"You babbled an apology and ran away."

"Sorry."

"And then you wouldn't look at me, and tried your best to not be close to me. When did I have time to say anything?"

"You could have cornered me..." It was a terrible futile thought.

"That wouldn't have worked, you know it. And I wouldn't do that to you."

"You've just been so respectful, and I was just so mean to you." His hand brushed some hair away from her face, as best as he could with her using that very arm as a pillow. "You remembered my birthday even when I couldn't, and you took care of me when I got drunk way too much. And I paid you back with ignorance."

"It's okay."

"It's not." She sniffled, opening her eyes and staring into his dark pyjama top, she couldn't see much because of the darkness of the room. "I should never have ignored you."

Ophely didn't know how to say it. And it seemed Jeonghan was still doing what he had been doing for the past days, giving her space, giving her time, letting choose when she wanted to talk, say things and clear it up. It was hurting, waiting, she knew, but she didn't know how to say it.

Maybe she should rip the bandage off and be done with it. She was, but doubt again. Would that make Jeonghan ignore her on his part? Maybe. But that would be out of character for him.

"I like you." There, she said it.

"I like you too." His voice was smooth as he said it, not choked like hers. And he hadn't frozen up like she would have, his hands were still drawing circles on her head soothingly, and he was still as comfy as before.