𝐉𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐠 | 𝐁𝐥𝐮𝐞 𝐁𝐢𝐫𝐝

𝐒𝐢𝐱

February 23, 2021

Yeosang drew small circles on Seonghwa's back. They were lying in his bed and Seonghwa seemed to be asleep. It was dark in the room, but Yeosang could still see Seonghwa's soft skin in front of him. Seonghwa slept with him almost every night, only sometimes he stayed in his own room and whenever he did, Yeosang couldn't fall asleep. The bed just felt empty. As if something was missing.

Yeosang heard Seonghwa exhale. "Can't you sleep?" he asked and Yeosang was surprised that he was still awake. Seonghwa slowly turned to him and in the darkness Yeosang felt his eyes on him. "What are you thinking about?" Seonghwa asked softly, stroking Yeosang's hair. "Do you think Hongjoong will let me come with you again someday? I'm not even allowed to go to his father's meetings anymore I don't understand."

It was quiet and Yeosang knew that Seonghwa didn't know what to say. It was always like this when he brought up the subject. "Never mind." Yeosang mumbled and wanted to turn around, but Seonghwa stopped him and came closer. Then Yeosang felt Seonghwa's soft lips on his and closed his eyes. It was the only thing he needed in this world.

Their lips moved in the same rhythm and Seonghwa's hand moved behind Yeosang's head. Then Seonghwa's tongue connected with Yeosang's and it became harder to breathe.
Eventually, Seonghwa pulled away from Yeosang's lips and moved to his neck. Yeosang moaned softly.

The breathtaking feeling on Yeosang's neck disappeared far too quickly, however, when a vibration was heard and Seonghwa pulled away from him. He reached for his phone and the bright screen lit up Seonghwa's face. Yeosang looked at him in irritation. A wrinkle formed on Seonghwa's forehead, then he sat down all of sudden.

"I'm sorry, but I have to go." Seonghwa got up much faster than Yeosang could even react. "Where to? What's wrong?" he called out irritably, but Seonghwa was already at the door. "I'll see you tomorrow. Sorry." Then he disappeared as if it was nothing and Yeosang was left alone. He looked at the empty space next to him where Seonghwa had been lying a few seconds ago. What could be so important to him now?

Yeosang swallowed and turned to the side. He was almost never sad because he didn't let it happen, but right at that moment he couldn't control it and the tears couldn't be stopped. It would probably be another sleepless night.

________

The next morning, Yeosang crept down the hall to Seonghwa's room. The sun had barely risen and the others were still asleep. But Yeosang couldn't get a second of sleep.

He knocked softly and paused. Since Hongjoong's room was opposite Seonghwa's room, he was extra careful. When nothing happened, Yeosang opened the door very carefully. As expected, the room was completely dark. Nevertheless, the outlines of the furniture could be seen. Yeosang carefully entered the room and crept to the bed. His hand touched the bedspread and only then did he realize that no one was there. Seonghwa was not there.

Confused, Yeosang stared into the darkness. But where else had he slept? With an uneasy feeling, Yeosang crept back into the hallway and looked at Hongjoong's room door. Seonghwa would never go to San, they weren't close enough for that, but would he really..?

Yeosang closed Seonghwa's room door again and walked back to the living room. Not knowing what to do now, he lay down on the cold couch and stared at the ceiling. He felt strange and different than usual and he already hated this feeling.

.....

Yeosang felt a warm hand on his arm and was startled. "Sorry I didn't mean to scare you." Yeosang looked up into San's face, who was bent over him. "Why were you sleeping here?" San asked and Yeosang sat down, confused. He must have fallen asleep.