𝐉𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐠 | 𝐁𝐥𝐮𝐞 𝐁𝐢𝐫𝐝

𝐒𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧

January 29, 2022

Yeosang ended the livestream and pulled his headset off his head. He pushed himself away from his desk and the chair he was sitting on rolled backwards, then he stretched and rubbed the back of his neck. He glanced at the clock and realized that it was almost four in the morning. As too often, he had lost track of time.

With tired eyes, Yeosang dropped into bed and curled up in his blanket. Since the incident with Hongjoong, he had hardly spoken a word to the older man. He avoided running into Hongjoong and he had gotten used to staying in his room and not going out.

He helped the others sometimes or he lay in his bed all day doing nothing and by now he was perfectly okay with that. The entire last year had felt strange and Yeosang felt like he had lost himself more than ever before. So much so that he no longer knew who he actually was. But at this point, he didn't care. He hardly went outside anyway, only talked to people on the internet and at least he had less stress. At least as long as that one person didn't show up.

There was a knock.
Yeosang took a deep breath and remained in his position, because he knew exactly who it was, but he didn't want to see him. Not now.

There was a second knock. Nothing was the same with Seonghwa. Yeosang didn't know what it was. Maybe it was because of the one night when he had told Seonghwa that he only wanted sex and nothing more. And now since that had become reality, Yeosang was sick of it. Because Seonghwa only came here when Hongjoong didn't need him. He acted like a dog and Hongjoong was his owner. But when the owner wasn't around, Yeosang was suddenly important again.

When there was a third knock, Yeosang got up, annoyed, and walked to the door. He opened it and looked unsurprised at Seonghwa's tired face. "Did I wake you up?" Seonghwa asked. Yeosang shook his head. Seonghwa pushed past him and entered his room. Without saying anything, he dropped into Yeosang's bed. Yeosang closed the door and bit his lower lip. Every time Seonghwa showed up, his heart started beating faster and he knew that he would probably like him forever, even if Seonghwa didn't return his feelings.

Seonghwa stretched out his arms and Yeosang raised an eyebrow. With slow steps, he walked to the bed where Seonghwa pulled him to him and then hugged him. "Let's go to sleep," he mumbled and closed his eyes. Yeosang looked at Seonghwa's face, overwhelmed. Every time he came to him and hugged him, Yeosang had the feeling that he was the most important person in Seonghwa's life, but unfortunately this was not true. Because as he had come to realize over the months, Hongjoong was the most important person to Seonghwa and even if Hongjoong would never show it, Yeosang knew that it was probably mutual. So what could he do but enjoy the little moments he had with Seonghwa and hold on to them. Because that was the only joy in his life.

Slowly, Yeosang closed his eyes too and his arm went around Seonghwa.

_____________

February 10, 2022

"Hongjoong wants to talk to all of us," Seonghwa said and Yeosang looked up from his computer. He followed Seonghwa with unsteady steps and anxiety spread through him, because if Hongjoong wanted to talk to all of them, it was serious.

Yeosang sat down next to San on the couch and looked confused, because Hongjoong was nowhere to be seen. "He'll be here soon," Seonghwa said, having seen the look on his face, and sat down as well. Yeosang felt San's hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry about it. I'm sure it's nothing serious." Yeosang smiled slightly. Although he hardly talked to San either, he was the nicest person in the whole house.

Hongjoong entered the room a few seconds later and without wasting any time, he started talking. "Someone new will be joining us next week." Yeosang and San looked shocked in Hongjoong's direction. Only Seonghwa remained relaxed since he knew about everything.