2: Status Report

207 5 1

by wwriters_block

by wwriters_block

One of the perks of literally risking your life for this apartment building is a free apartment on the top floor, which you gladly accepted. This was, of course, before you were informed that the elevator is broken. So you trudge up the stairs with your pathetic little box of belongings and a backpack of clothes.

You unlock your door with your doorman ID and drop the box as you look around. It's small, but not bad. They gave you a bed and TV, at least. As much as you want to get unpacking over with, you can't be bothered to right now, so you throw a cup of instant noodles in the microwave and flip through channels.

Just as you're getting settled in, the phone starts going off. It clicks when you pick it up.

"You ready for your daily report?" It's the hazmat suit guy, but his voice isn't as muffled anymore.

"Hit me."

"Let's see. You caught one doppelganger, and none of them got into the building."

"And?"

"And you called us on three neighbors."

"Whoops." You slurp up a scoop of noodles.

"No, not 'whoops'! You had three innocent people killed!"

"Better safe than sorry. Maybe they shouldn't have been so rude."

The D.D.D. guys goes quiet for a second before he takes a breath. "You called to have three people exterminated because they were being rude?"

"Hey, that one girl had it coming. 'Ohhh, I was at the high school or whateverrr." You mock.

"You can't just do that, [Name]! We could have you fired."

You deadpan. "Oh no. What would I do with myself?"

You can hear him sigh.

"Hey. Do you have a name, D.D.D. guy?"

"Yeah." He doesn't say anything else.

"Whatever. Glad I passed the test."

"You weren't even clos-!" You drop the phone down and lean back. Suddenly, there's another knock on your door. Outside is a pair of redheaded women, both identical aside from different moles on their cheeks,

"Sorry to interrupt you." One says.

"The night shift doorman... uh..." The other trails off.

"Didn't make it."

"Uh-huh." You say, knowing where they're going with this. "I'll be down there in a minute. Tell everyone to hang on."

"Alright." The women say in unison before upturning their heads and shuffling down the hallway. You sigh, shimmying back into uniform, and heading back down all four flights of stairs.

✦

You finally get to the bottom and are out in front of all the tenants.

"Please, hold the applause." You say, unlocking your office door and sitting down.