WORK IN PROGRESS: Dinner Disasters: Sebastian and Layana

Chapter 12 (Sebastian): She Was Gone

We walked in the door and I turned to Layana just inside the foyer.

"Layana, I'm sor --"

She picked up the bat next to the door and held it up to me. "If you say you're sorry to me one more time, Sebastian, I'm going take out your kneecaps and then work my way up to your head."

When she finished shouting at me, she waited a beat, put the bat back down by the door, then stormed over to the couch and sat down.

"Do you need to go lie down for a bit?" I asked her, trying to tread carefully, wanting to do something for her after the shit she'd just gone through.

"No," she yelled. "I don't need to lie down! I need  to come to terms with that stupid bitch falsely accusing me of assault and getting me arrested!"

I needed to get her to calm down because the stress of the morning and then yelling like this couldn't be good for her or the baby.

"Can I get you something to drink? Eat? A blanket?" The way her arms were wrapped around herself, I wondered if she was having a delayed reaction to being in jail that was making her cold or if she was just trying to not kill me.

At that, her head came up and she was back to yelling. "A blanket, Sebastian? You're offering me a blanket like that's going to fix things?"

"No," I said patiently. "You looked cold, and I wanted to help in some way if I could."

"You could have helped by not bringing that bitch into our lives!"

This kind of volume couldn't be good for her, so I wanted to try to de-escalate things before she picked up the bat again.

"I know you're mad and have every right to be, but I think we need to talk this out once and for all, Layana," I said softly, sitting next to her. "There are some things I've been thinking about that I'd like to explain, if you're willing to listen."

Her eyes were narrowed on me, but she wasn't yelling and eventually gave me a nod to go ahead.

"Everything wrong between us right now is my fault. It's all I've been thinking about. I know things have been tense ever since I made this deal, and I've been going over and over everything in my mind. What's hardest for me to come to terms with is I didn't do anything out of the ordinary with her, but now, given what's been happening, I understand what I should have done differently. I've been breaking it all down in my head. I was focused on making a business deal same as I've always done. Lunches and dinners to discuss opportunities. Nothing new there. Dinners to celebrate the new deal. Standard."

"Dinners with a beautiful single woman by yourself?"

"That's how you see her, I know," I said evenly. "But that's not how I see her. I can say it until I'm blue in the face, and you can believe me or not, but I don't think of anyone but you like that. You're all I see in that way, but I can't prove that to you. So that's what I'll be changing in the future so you never have to think about it or worry about it again. I won't go out to business lunches or dinners alone with any woman, married or not. Period. You're tired of my apologies, but I am sorry for being insensitive to that. I should have been more cognizant of it all along and I will be going forward."

She didn't say anything, but she was listening. And another plus: we weren't fighting or yelling at each other.

"The night we were celebrating the deal, Renee and I were seated at a four-top. I don't know if that registered with you, but there was a reason for it. As soon as my admin went to print out the final contract  both sides were going sign, I stepped out to make two calls. The first one was to Treasure for the following night so I could surprise you with the deal and we could celebrate, and the second one was to Sweet Mandarin for four of us -- the two lawyers, Renee and me. It was just before we headed for dinner that the lawyers backed out, and that's when I should have backed out, too. But again, I didn't think anything about it, and I was riding high on the deal being done and looking forward to telling you about it the next night. I should have called you to tell you, though, and I should have kept my phone on. That was stupid on my part, but it wasn't done maliciously but out of habit that I've developed for business meetings that I'll never do again. I'm sorry, and going forward I'll always let you know where I am, who I'm with and my phone will always be on."

Layana looked like she was about to protest, but I had to show her that I got it without her prompting me. "The even bigger issue is that I should have canceled the dinner. I shouldn't have forgotten the anniversary of the day we met. But I didn't cancel, I did forget and I am sorry about that. If I'm ever in a situation like that again, I'll cancel and you have my promise on that."

She didn't give me any reaction to that so I had no idea if anything I was saying was making a difference to her. But I still had more to say. 

"I want to bring up another thing because you know I've been holding the line on my position as to how long I've known Renee. I still believe I answered truthfully when I said I've known her for a year. I didn't remember who she was when I saw her, so, to me, the truth was I'd known her for a year. But I should have told you that I knew her for a week in college. Dated her. Whatever you want to call it, I should have said something about it when you asked. It was your right to know that I dated her in college for a week, and I apologize for not telling you."

 Taking a chance, I put my hand on my wife's thigh. That she didn't knock it away amazed me. Maybe she was just waiting for me to stop talking before she got the bat.

"You know that I've been resistant to hearing and considering your side of things during all of this shit Layana, and it's because I was hurt you'd think I could cheat on you. I couldn't, and that's the plain truth. The lipstick by my ear, that second phone -- I was being set up, and I was frustrated that you were accusing me of cheating on you instead of believing in me. I know you thought I was angrier with you than with her, but that wasn't true. I was fucking pissed at her, but I was frustrated with you."

I wanted her to look at me, so I got on one knee in front of her and ducked my head to look in her eyes.

"I did a lot of shit wrong. I admit that. I should  have handled so many things differently, told you about that week in college with Renee. But the things she did -- setting me up to look like there was something going on between us -- I wanted you to see through that. Being falsely accused of something you didn't do is fucked, Layana. It looked like I was offering excuse after excuse when I was actually trying to defend my innocence. And innocence is hard to prove when you've been set up like I was. I was scrambling to wrap my head around what the hell was going on."

My phone rang and, with a sigh, I pulled it from my pocket to see Dale was calling. He'd warned me to answer if he or the police called today.

"I hate to do this right now, baby, but with everything that's going on, I need to take this call. It's Dale and he may have some information for us about that crazy bitch."

She nodded, and I accepted the call. He got right to the point, and I glanced at Layana. She could tell from my eyes that it wasn't a fun conversation.

"That was not good news," I said to Layana as I ended the short call. "He said when the police went to pick up Renee from the hospital, she was gone."

"Like dead gone or disappeared gone? I know which one I'm hoping for," she muttered.

"Disappeared gone. They've been searching for her and no one has any idea where she is."

"That's not true," Renee said, coming from the hallway. "I know where I am, and now both of you do, too."