I feel my body tremble with the amount of crying I had just gone through, their eyes looking at me just makes me feel trapped and isolated. I have a reason to hate them, so why don't I feel it?
"Because of you Bells we've helped so many people like you, they're better now" He tries to tell me but I only shake my head
"People like me?" I lift my head up slightly as I scoff at his reasoning "Karen's daughter is dead because of you, people are trapped in here like fucking zoo animals. Ash-"
I stop at the thought of Ashton, Luke told me he worked for the centre, h but how could I trust him? Luke works for the centre too. The silence in the room is calming, not awful but bearing enough for me to take some time to breathe.
"Ashton Irwin eh?" Dean chuckles slowly as he leans back in his chair
"Who is he?" I question, my voice stern but soft "he just a piece like him?" I point toward Michael as he looks at me in shock
"Bella, you have to realize th-"
"Shut your mouth Clifford" Dean snaps at him, interrupting his attempt to speak, never in a million years would I have pictured this moment with these two, the antagonist and protagonist in my life, coming together to create one big villain.
The two are so different from one another yet so similar, I can pinpoint many things but for all I know is that I don't care but I just need answers.
Dean runs his fingers through his medium cut hair that fall just below his ears away from his face, I glare at him as he begins to speak.
"Ashton was like you, but the thing was is that he enrolled himself in our program." He puts one leg up above the other as he continues "We had just started making pills, knowing what to put to erase the memories, nanotechnology, Ashton was admitted to eight different hospitals before coming to us, he was unhappy from all the events that took place in his life."
Ashton fucking Irwin, played with me all along, the advice, the brainwashing...was it all a lie too?
"His mom had died in a car accident, he had no contact with his father, years later he found a girl he learned to love and cherish until she overdosed on ecstasy, Ashton had one goal, to forget everything about her" Dean fixated his position on his seat before pulling out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, I glared at him as he tried handing one over to me saying that Ashton told him I took an interest in smoking.
"He said alcohol only lets him forget for a few hours, hurting himself reminded him of why he lost, getting high made him feel happy, but the recommendation he got from the doctor for this program was all he wanted to lose everything in his past."
"So he was like a test subject?" I spit out, the amount of anger evident in my tone
"It was his choice." Michael muttered under his breath
I look down at my slippers, remembering how Ashton would tell me some of his memories, how flashes of her bright blonde hair, or the smell of cigarettes and spearmint gum would lead him to remember certain dates, was that just made up too?
"Ashton was never forced to do anything he didn't want to do, he was only with you because we know exactly what you needed" Dean comments, lighting the cigarette in between his fingers "after Luke we found your weak points, you were desperate for someone to hold onto, he worked with a number of different patients."
I lick my chapped hips as I blink a few times, Ashton was so angry at the world, he knew exactly what to say or what to do, he rarely got into trouble and would always get places I would've never been able to if I wasn't with him; the balcony, the late night hall walks, how workers never questioned us.. everything slowly started clicking together
"Ashton has flaws as well" Dean's eyes flicker between Michael and I, as smoke comes out of his mouth "he falls too quickly"
I gulp as I know exactly what he's talking about, I sit up in my seat instead of slouching as I remember all his attempts of touching and holding me, how he'd press his lips against mine if I was the last thing on Earth. Ashton fell in love too quickly.
Back in grade nine we had read Romeo and Juliet, I remember reading about fatal flaws in our historical protagonists, Like ashton he had a fatal flaw, he had that flaw blind him from the harsh reality of just getting back up, maybe it was fate, or maybe this was his destiny, fatal flaws end in tragedy.
"He had to be refreshed every now and then, he was never allowed to be emotionally or physically attached to patients, especially not you." His soft spoken tone did nothin to ease to extreme pain I'm feeling, sitting a foot away, I can barely hear the sound of Michael's uneven breaths.
"But he did, and it was wrong" I look away from the dark feeling I have inside, I clench my fist tightly by my stomach as I try to hold in the pain and suffering I've held for so many years.
Why do people get attached to easily?
Why do I always need a shoulder to cry on?
I know I'm done as I realize I've got nothing left anymore, even if I do plan to escape, who will be waiting for me? Who will be the one I'm willing to stay for?
I don't speak, and neither do they, I can tell Michael is giving it all of him to not blurt out something he'd regret.
Dean sits their in his perfectly tailored suit as he continues to play on with his watch, I myself sit, here I am, feeling lifeless like this whole thing had started in the first place.
"Is it over?" I softly say, not directing my words to anyone in particular
"It's not even half of it"
-
Sorry this didn't upload the day after but the goal was like 50 votes and I got like 30 lol
Um
So next chapter is Luke's backstory, if ya read the prequel you know a lil bit about it and um, please comment and vote it barely takes a second.
Comment your name and where your from? :-)
Hopefully I can get the next chapter up in the morning lol
