Clownzy Oneshots

Maybe a Little (a Lot)

A/N: Okay I'm sorry about last time, have some fluff. Kind of. It's just Clown flirting and Branzy being an idiot--

"He's so down bad," Mid whispered to Zam, who nodded solemnly.

"What?" Clown looked up from his phone in surprise.

"Oh so now he pays attention to the conversation," Spoke said sarcastically. "Did you seriously think we didn't notice you have a giant crush?"

"I don't!" The group stared at him in silence for a second. "Okay, maybe a little."

"A little?" Mid said incredulously. "You've attended every single one of his robot competition things, even the ones at different schools, you always prioritize his texts over the conversation you are actively engaged in, and don't pretend I didn't hear you flirting by the music building."

"Okay, okay, maybe a lot," he admitted.

***

Branzy stared with the utmost contempt at the math homework lying on his desk. Factoring polynomials, which he hated because it relied on basic multiplication. He had never learned his timesables, well at least never fully, and now he was staring at the problem on his homework and wondering which pair of the factors of negative 216 added up to 50. The calculator was right there, but at the same time, there wouldn't be a calculator on the text so he had to learn his times tables quickly. Frick.

Then his phone dinged as someone texted him.

Yes! An excuse to procrastinate!

Branzy practically leapt to his phone, swiping sideways on the new notification to open the text, which was from Clown.

Clown: What time is the competition again?

Branzy: 3:30

You don't have to come

It's just a bunch of tech nerds fighting over free cookies

Clown: Free cookies you say? Now I have another reason to come other than my favorite person

Branzy: Haha yeah maybe I should have taken a different route of argument

Also, it took me like an entire minute to put together some kind of coherent thought to reply to that with, because my brain stopped >:T

Clown: Thats sweet

Branzy: See! How do I respond to that when I just stop functioning?

Clown: took u 3 min this time

Branzy: Okay, are you actually keeping track now?

Clown: Maybe a little

also my friends are shipping us

Branzy: Huh

Clown: 2 min

Branzy: CLOWN

Clown: Whaaaaaat

its fun to see how long I can fluster you

Branzy: ...

Clown: Was that a whole six min??

Branzy: I was trying to come up with a semi-coherent response to that, and my sister just walked into my room and asked why I was smiling so hard at my phone.

Clown: hehehehehe

I will 100% be at the competition

Free cookies and a free cutie

Branzy: That's it, I'm leaving

Clown: NoooOOooOooOoOoOOooO

Branzy locked his phone and tossed it on his reading chair before dramatically flopping on his bed, face down in his pillow in an attempt to hide his blush from Ivory. He heard her cross the room to the chair, presumably to pick the phone up. There was a pause.

"You changed your password?" She asked with a hint of surprise.

"Yeah," he mumbled, voice obscured by the pillow.

There was a sigh, then he heard Ivory say to his phone, "Hey Siri, what do you do if your brother is being an idiot?"

"I didn't quite get that," answered the lady's robot voice.

"Of course you didn't, your brain is a brick," Ivory flippantly said to it, dropping the phone back onto the chair. She crossed the room and sat on his bed, then demanded, "Spill the beans."

"Nooooo," the freshman said, still face down.

"Yeeeeeees," she parroted his tone, poking him in the shoulder until he rolled over and slapped her hand away. Ivory let out a gasp, pressing the slapped hand to her chest, unnecessarily dramatic as always, and accused, "You're blushing!"

Branzy pouted angrily at his older sister, but didn't refute the statement.

"Who is it? Do I know them? What's their gender? Are they nice?" She asked in quick succession, before he could answer, then added, "If they're mean to you I will stab them."

"Please don't stab him," Branzy mumbled, picking the pillow up and hiding his face in it again.

"Ahah! Its a him!" Ivory exclaimed, grinning as she pulled away the pillow, which she then threw across the room. "Do I know him?"

Branzy looked mournfully at the fallen pillow, and replied, "no you don't know him."

"Shame," she sighed, "now I can't give you a scathing review of his personality."

"The dirt you dug up on my last crush was terrible, please don't do that again," he pleaded.

"Maria was a bitch though," Ivory defended herself. "So you like this guy, duh, but does he like you?"

"Maybe a little?"

She raised her eyebrow. "I need details, kid, you are an idiot at figuring this out on your own."

"Uhm," Branzy scrunched his nose, "well I think he's flirting with me? But I haven't seen him around his friends so maybe he does that with everyone? Or maybe I'm reading too much into normal stuff. I don't know."

Ivory sighed, standing up and getting his phone from the reading chair. "What's your new password?"

"7-2-7-4-5-9," he answered, giving up on keeping secrets from the senior because she always figured everything out anyways.

There was a pause as she unlocked the phone and located the messages between Branzy and his crush. Ivory let out a snort. "Is his name actually Clown?"

"Yeah?"

"Weird-ass name," she said, scrolling back through the texts, ignoring her brother's indignation at his crush being made fun of.

Branzy got up and retrieved his pillow and brought it back to his bed, where he resumed lying face down in embarrassment. He knew his sister, she was basically always right when it came to this sort of stuff and gave great advice, but she would also take any opportunity to make fun of him in front of his crushes.

"Branzy, you utter imbecile," she sounded highly exasperated.

"What?" He lifted his head from the pillow, awaiting her verdict.

Ivory waved the message app infront of his face. "This is the epitome of flirting! How dense are you? He clearly likes you, idiot."

"Oh," Branzy responded, a stupid grin spreading across his face.

She dropped the phone into his lap, "Here. I'm giving up. Use protection."

"Ivory!"

A/N: I spent like 50% of the time it took to write this oneshot figuring out a way to format it to look like actual texting bubbles on Ao3. It worked. I am never touching code again in my life.

Word count: 1k