Light Years Apart

Remembrance

I tossed and turned in the bed.

Every time I closed my eyes, Papa’s eyes pierced back into mine.

That deadly stare made the hair in my body stand, leaving a shiver all over.

I closed my eyes more tightly trying to get rid of my thoughts. I shook my head, hit myself in the head vigorously, but no matter how much I fought with myself, my inner demon found new ways each time to torture me with the sick flashbacks.

Like a glitch in a broken TV, the same slide continued to appear before my eyes.

Only if I were able to remove the most dreadful memory out of my life, or tuck it somewhere deep within me and pretend it doesn’t exist.

The full moon outside casting it’s light illuminating the room giving it a heavenly peace and calmness, whereas the storm continued to brew inside of me getting stronger and darker with every passing minute.

I stayed sited on the bed staring at the moonlit floor.

The bags that Lorenzo brought earlier are placed at the corner of the wall.

I got off the bed and walked towards the brown jacket peaking outside from the bag.

I softly pulled it out and took a sniff.

The old familiar smell hitting my nostrils immediately. And at once I am back again in our home, in papa’s arm, safe and protected.

I put the jacket on.

A small smile found its way back to me as childhood memories flushed before my eyes.

I remember about that time when papa had to go out of town for some days and I wouldn’t stop crying.

I didn’t eat anything all day, I didn’t sleep.

Until Mary brought me to papa’s room, As soon as I lied down on his bed I felt a sudden warmth as if he hugged me into him.

Since then in his absence I have found papa in the scent of aftershave and mild colognes.

I wiped the lonely tear that escaped my eye.

The magical moonlight from earlier was now hidden behind gray clouds.

The darkness and the heaviness increased inside the room competing the same growing inside of me.

The suffocating air increasing to the point of choking me.

Unable to resist it anymore I stepped out of the room.

I quietly walked down the stairs trying not to make any sound.

The moon continued with its game of hide and seek.

The rooms and the corridors seemed to grow wider in the effect of the light and dark.

The silence inside the house and outside was calm yet alarming. Only a clock continued to tick somewhere.

I walked into the living room and lay down on the sofa.

I hugged the jacket again, the remaining part of his soul in it merged with mine.

I closed my eyes as a sudden rush of warmth spread inside me.

With a smile on my face I drifted off to a peaceful sleep.

It was way past midnight when a car drove in through the gravel floor breaking the silence of the night.

The main door opened with a crack. A tall dark shadow entered the room, his shoes clicked against the floor making a tapping sound.