Pretend To Be Mine

I hate you

Yoongi:

Self-loathing? That's a new one for me. I'd never really came across it until I caught Hoseok sobbing in Jin's room. I hate myself for this.

He's convinced that nobody cares about him and that everyone just takes advantage of him. It couldn't be further from the truth; I care about him more than anything else. But I'm at a loss on how to convince him of that. How can I make him understand that my care for him is genuine, driven by his happiness and love?

I was taken aback when he emerged, his eyes glaring at me with nothing but bitterness. He hastily wiped away his tears and retreated back into his room.

I chewed on my lip nervously, feeling utterly useless. Even RM has advised me to concentrate on my own shit first.

Just then, Seokjin appeared, his gaze questioning. He seemed about to inquire why I was eavesdropping, but I quickly turned and practically bolted toward Hoseok's room.

He was about to close the door when I stopped it with my hand.

“Hobi, please listen to me,” I pleaded, my voice tinged with desperation.

“Get out,” he demanded, his tone sharp. It was then that I realized I had stepped into his room.

“No, Hobi, I'm sorry. I know I messed up really bad, but I did it for you,” I explained, noticing the tension in his jaw and the redness in his eyes.

“You screw Jimin for me?” he questioned, and I winced at the blunt truth. Yes, it sounded terrible, but it was the truth. I had intervened to keep Jimin away from him.

“I did it to keep him away from you,” I clarified, but the animosity in his gaze only deepened.

"Did I ask for this?" he questioned, and I remained silent, knowing any response would only worsen the situation.

"Did I ever ask you to keep Jimin away from me?" he pressed, and I could feel my jaw tensing in frustration.

"I can't bear to see anyone near you," I murmured, though I was certain he heard every word.

"And so you decided to fuck with Jimin, the only person I wanted to be with, the one I loved," he accused, his words piercing through me.

"You don't want to be with Jimin," I countered, but a wave of relief washed over me as he spoke in past tense. Wanted. Loved.

"And now you suddenly know me better than I know myself," he scoffed, his words piercing me deeply. I had caused Hoseok to become like this. He was my sweet little angel, and yet I had driven him to say such hurtful things.

"Please, Hobi, I love you," I pleaded, feeling an ache in my heart so strong it was almost physical. I took two steps closer, reaching out to grasp his hands.

But he retreated a few steps as if I were some kind of plague-ridden monster.

Maybe I was, I couldn't deny it. But damn, it hurt.

"Don't lay a finger on me with your repulsive hands," he spat, and it felt as though someone had gripped my lungs, squeezing the air from them.

"Love? Ha! All you've done is steal my happiness," he accused, tears streaming down his cheeks anew. My fingers twitched with the urge to wipe them away.

"Your happiness is with me," I insisted, but he froze, his nostrils flaring with anger.

"Fuck you. You're not my happiness, and you never will be. Jimin was my happiness," he spat, and it hit me hard. He had never cursed before, and now he directed it at me.