When An Accident Prone No One Runs Into A Celebrity There Will Be Chaos...

Chapter 13

 He stumbles away from me with a look of shock intermixed with what looks disturbingly a lot like terror. In his haste to step back away from me, he knocks into a chair and hurriedly settles it again as if I have somehow imparted my clumsiness onto him. All I can do is stand and watch from where he has left me, the ghost of his fingertips still lingering on my skin. Ollie reaches the door. Slowly he looks up, and for the first time since the kiss he looks me directly in his eyes making my skin break out in goosebumps. Everything from his body language to his facial expression is telling me he has just made a terrible mistake; everything apart from his eyes. Call it wishful thinking but there is some hidden spark in the back of his eyes that suggests he wants to stay. I want him to stay. It’s taking all my energy to keep my feet planted firmly where they are and not charging after him.

He opens the door allowing a wave of noise to fill the silent balcony but his eyes are still locked onto mine. His eyes express so much of who he is. Just this once I want the impulsive, free Ollie, who is reflected in those eyes, to break out. I search for words to form into a plea but in the chaos I’ve seemed to have lost the talent for coherent expression. But I can see his protective wall rising up. One of his feet is now planted firmly inside but the other one is lingering outside just touching the ground. He loiters for a few seconds but then his eyes dart down again. I’ve lost him now and I know it. Just as I predicted he brings both feet inside and the door swings closed behind, putting just another thing between us.

He’s disappeared from sight now but I still can’t move. I can still barely believe what has happened and I raise my hand to my mouth just to check if all this has actually happened. My head is swirling and even my thoughts don’t make any coherent sense. Do I really want Ollie? The answer I am met with is overwhelmingly positive. I don’t know how I have been ignorant of my feelings for him for so long.

In a state of utter confusion I drape my arms over the railing, slump down and gaze into the city. The party is taking place in a very modern hotel, which reaches an impossibly high altitude, up on the penthouse suite. So on the balcony there is a stunning view over the entire city. When I first looked out over this view I felt like a goddess elevated into a dreamlike existence but now I just feel tiny and insignificant. Now I feel I’m trapped in an absurd spectator ring, regarding the people happily moving on with their lives while I am stuck up here in limbo. Halfway between happiness and misery, halfway between paradise and disaster, most importantly halfway between love and hate.

My brain has finally kicked back into motion and now I’m really thinking. Why would he initiate a kiss then flee the scene almost immediately? That’s not a good sign is it? He couldn’t have got away from here quick enough. What’s even worse is, I can’t understand why I love him. Watching him back away like that was like having a knife twist through my stomach. But why would he want to stay? I’m just a little miss nobody from no where and he is Ollie Daniels. Who was I bloody kidding to even think anything could happen between us?

But he must like me a little, or else why would he kiss me? There was nothing I said or did to initiate the kiss so it must have come from him. Now I’ve found my small glimmer of hope I intend to hold onto it. And standing out here moping around is not going to change things is it? Besides the longer I stay out here the more he must know he is getting to me. I redden at the thought of Ollie realising the hold he has over me and immediately I am determined to face this with a cool indifference. I’m not going to turn into a drooling fan-girl. Straightening myself, I smooth my dress then raise my head and enter the party with dignity. Ordering myself another drink I turn to around to face the room and plan my next move.