Chapter 19

146 8 5

by mo0nfics

by mo0nfics

Meera's Pov:

Shubman
Shubman
Shubman

The only words going around in my mind from the past few hours.

We both were in the same flight, seats next to each other, talking, catching up. It felt nice, it felt complete.
Like at that moment if anything happens wrong it wouldn't matter just because I had Shubman with me.

It feels like cheating when I think of me and Shubman but no I love Nathan. (I convinced myself....again).

I look at the ceiling of my dark room, a ray of moonlight giving it a subtle glow. Shubman has always been that ray of moonlight in my life, even if it was for a short moment of my life, a memory.

I hate myself, I how guilty I feel. I hate everything about me. I can never be content, I can never love anyone truly, I always want more.

I get startled by my phone ringing, I groan and ignore the call. I get another one, I get up and check my phone,

it's Nathan.

All the guilt rushing back.

I clear my voice before picking up, "hey...umm...Nathan?" I say and hear is raspy voice through the other line "Hey Meera, I just checked your message. Glad you landed safely" I knew he would be smiling there, the thought makes me smile instantly.
"Nathan, its pretty late here, it is pretty late here, I need to sleep. Bye baby" I say and hear him say I love you but I pretend I didn't hear him say it.

I'll be clear, I do love him but I don't feel content. Its like he has always been like that person who'll buy me whatever I want, but it's Like he spends less time, it's like he buys his love. There is nothing wrong with that but I feel distant to him. He is a nice guy but maybe I overthink to much.

Shut up meera, stop overthinking, thats how everyone leaves you. You overthink too much.

I should sleep, i'll be fresh. I hope so.

*****
Authors note

Okay, so valid reason this time. School tests, we have weekly tests and then school trip, but this month I have my summer holidays. And sorry for the short chapter. I am having a writers block oh and follow me on Insta: @/mo0nnfics
I am in process of writing a desi wattpad romance type thing. So it also takes up time. But like my current celeb crush has been Riyan Parag. He is soooo prettyyyy.