It was the first day of the third term and my body was exhausted from all the nights spent in bed doing nothing. I spent the previous night thinking about Lucia-The-Nerd and how I was gonna face her knowing that I had fallen in love with her crush. What am I going to tell her? I thought to myself. Will she be okay with me dating him? Fuck, no. In my world, I don't care how strong our friendship is, but if you take my man, I will fight you. In fact I will hate you. So, knowing LTN in an Angle of love, I didn't think she would hate me, but she was also human after all, meaning, she's capable of anything. I phoned Sizwe right away for an advice and he said we'd talk at school.I upped myself from the bed and walked to the bathroom to wash my face. In thirty minutes I was ironing my school uniform and when I was done, I made my way to school.When I got to school it was packed outside the premises. I think learners missed school, because it seemed like even dropouts were present that day. Students gathered outside classes reminiscing about their holidays with their friends and fake friends. Everyone seemed excited to see their friends and classmates whom they haven't seen in a long time. I walked past grade eight classes and all the way to my grade 12 block. When I reached my class, Simon jumped and hugged me, the class' clown. Simon was a type of a guy who made jokes even in serious situations. Everyone in class got used to his jokes that we ended up not taking him serious. He was annoying. When Simon let go of me, my eyes went straight to Lucia's chair and lucky enough, she had not arrived. So I rushed to place my bag on my table and left for Sizwe's class, which was four classes away from mine.
When I got to his class, his chair was empty. I walked out to the back of his class and I called his phone. It rang once and he answered. I told him I was in his class and he told me to wait for him for a couple of minutes he was on his way. I waited for him impatiently and in a couple of not more than ten minutes, he arrived. He was wearing all smiles on his face and before he said anything, I moved him to a place where I was certain Lucia wouldn't see us. With him being surprised to my sudden behaviour, he asked what was going on and I told him everything – from A to Z. When I finished speaking, I looked up to his face and I could not help but notice the shock on him. Before he could say anything, I asked for his advice as my friend."You guys are seeing each other and you didn't bother to tell me...""I didn't tell you? I'm sorry Sizwe but I need your advice. What should I do now?""To tell you the truth, Aona, what you did is total bullshit, but we can't foul a heart for wanting who it wants, so, my advice is... let your heart show you the right path," he spoke in riddle and tapping my shoulder."My heart is confused, Sizwe. I don't know what to do. I really like this guy, but what will I tell Lucia?""You know I love you my friend, but when it comes to love and relationships, I promised myself that I will never ever interfere. The choice is yours to make, Aona. What I can tell you is that 'the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. Don't wait for things to get tougher before you take action. I suggest you make a choice now. Open up to Lucia and confess everything," he said with his eyes on me. Whilst speaking, the school bell rang and we parted ways in a hug.When I entered in my class, the first thing my eyes did was to run to Lucia's desk and there she was, seated, reading a book. I bet that was her hundredth book she was reading, if not two-hundredth. If Lucia wasn't busy studying, she was reading a book – different books. I've never bothered to know what she's reading because, I was never a fan of reading, until Lucas borrowed me InTheDawn – Cedric & Sarah. Whilst on my thoughts, I walked to my chair and sat. I stole her glance few times, so I can avoid eye contact with her. I took out the book (InTheDawn), opened anywhere and pretended I was reading. Miss Phongolo came and started with her boring lessons until my brain wanted to explode.
When the lunch bell rang, my brain was over flooded with thoughts – whether to tell her or let it pass. It continued for the next five minutes until I decided it's best if I told her. I looked back to her desk and I saw her packing her stuff into her bag. When I stood up, my heart began pounding. I was hesitant whether to go or let it go."Aona!" she called out my name. "Might I speak with you?" she added. My heart pounded even faster. Does she know? Did she see us? Did Lucas say something to her? She knows, she knows. I said to myself. I walked over to her as she packed her last book in the bag. When I looked around, it was only chairs and shadows in the classroom staring at us. My mind could not help but wonder what was to happen. Is she planning something? I thought to myself. Why did she wait for everyone to leave, is she up to something? Lucia did not have a reputation of violence, but you can never know a person until you push them to the edge."Are you okay?" she asked."Yeah, yea, I am, why do you ask?" I said stuttering between words."It's just that I get a sense that you're avoiding me. You didn't greet me when you walked in in the morning. You didn't even look at me, so I thought maybe you were mad at me.""We okay, Lucia. I just have a lot on my mind," I responded."Something you want to talk about?" she said and I just looked at her and thought: yeah, there's something I need to tell you. I love your crush and we're dating. But I passed that thought."It's not something important," I said. "Anyway, I never got a chance to ask you how the camp was," I added. Lucia started sharing her moments at camp; how much she enjoyed. She kept mentioning Lucas' name and that's when I told myself it's enough, I am telling her the truth. As she was busy talking, I silenced her harshly and her face changed in shock. I guess she didn't expect that."I'm sorry, Lucia," I apologized after snapping at her."Are you okay, Ayo?" she asked. I looked at her and took a deep breath. This was very difficult for me but I had to do it."I need you to know that I did not do it intentionally. It's something that just happened," I said and reached for her arm. "Again, I want you to know that you're a good person. Kind and loving," I added and she looked at me surprised. "What are you on about now, Aona? You're scaring me." she said with her eyes dipped into mine. "Right now everything is good. But I doubt they will be after I tell you what I'm about to tell you now," I let go of her hand gently."Speak, I'm listening."I took a deep breath. "It's about Lucas.""What about him? Is he okay?" Her face switched."There's no easy way to say this, but..." I paused, "I think I've fallen for him," I said. "I know I shouldn't be feeling this way, but I do. I tried to stop it, but I couldn't. The time I spent with him made me fall for him. It's not an excuse for betraying you and I'm sorry for that. I know it's not right, Lucia. I really am sorry," I said sincerely. Lucia was a sweet girl and she didn't deserve that. In that moment, I expected her to throw a punch at me. I deserved it after all. I expected her to get all worked out, but she didn't, let alone reacted violently. I slowly reached for her hand again. This time I thought she would snap at me, but still, she didn't. She just stared at me with no reaction. I wanted her to say something, but she didn't. I think silence is the worst language anyone can communicate you with. It's better for someone to shout at you than to keep quiet. "Please say something," I begged. This time it got more intense. She came to me and hugged me. In my mind I thought she was hiding a knife somewhere. I quickly broke the hug and stepped two steps backwards. She looked at me intensely and finally said something."I know," she said."You know what?" I asked perplexed."About you and Lucas," she said calmly and I became relieved. Maybe somebody told her about me and Lucas, and she used those holidays to heal."I'm really sorry," I said."Actually, I should be the one apologizing to you," she said. I don't know if it make sense to you that you hurt a person and they want to apologize to you."What for?" I asked.She sighed and looked me in the eye. "It was all part of the plan.""What plan?" I asked dazed."Lucas asked me to help him win you," she said and continued, "He came to me one day and told me how much he loved you. I know I'm not Dr. Love, but I heard in his voice and saw it in his face that he meant it. So, I came with this idea to pretend like I was the one crushing on him and I lured you to help me win him. I knew spending time with him would make a difference. I told him everything about you; what you like and don't like," she said, "Last week he phoned to tell me you guys were dating. So, I'm sorry, Aona, for not being transparent with you," she said and I was there feeling like a fool. I immediately grew anger towards Lucia and Lucas. They lied to me. All this time I was played. I thought I was helping a friend but I was being played. I thought I had found real love but it was all a game.With all the anger exploding in my face, I pushed Lucia and walked past her. The force that I used to push her was strong because it left her on the ground. But I cared less. I made my way to Sizwe's class and I found him outside the class with his friends. I pulled him aside by his T-shirt that I even tore it."Woah, what is it now?" he said stopping me.
