Rebound

13

I feel like a complete idiot for falling apart like that. Lan Zhan was okay with it but I just felt awkward now. My healing sessions are going well and Lan Zhan has spent the time with me by playing for me or even just keeping me company and talking with me...well more me talking then him but that is nothing new. I do have to admit that I like that he listens. It's been so long since I had anyone who would just listen to me talk or rant. He was currently with me now as I was in my medical bath. These baths are so boring but I had to do them in order to cultivate again. So I just had a good conversation with Lan Zhan to pass the time.

"Do you think I went too far with Jiang Cheng?" I asked.

"No," Lan Zhan answered, "even if he did not know of your sacrifice for him, he still should have been there for you. He is not nice to you, even before everything happened I noticed he didn't treat you well."

"He got that from his mother," I said, "since you saw everything, I don't really need to explain her much...I tried to do everything I could to appease her. I let her beat me and vent her anger and even yell at me and it still didn't seem like it was enough for her...At one point I thought everything I endured was normal, but now that I am away from them all, I realized that I was just lying to myself for so long. I just wanted a place to call home."

"Wei Ying, home doesn't have to be a place. I can be a person who you can feel comfortable and safe with. You can put your entire trust into," Lan Zhan told me.

I nodded, "after losing my parents a home and a family was all I wanted. I loved my shijie like she was my real sister. I thought I loved Sect Leader Jiang and Jiang Cheng in a similar way. Looking back now, I realized how much Sect Leader Jiang depended on me to help his children. I never once thought of how he really felt about me. The day Lotus Pier was ambushed, he told me to look after his son and daughter. Not once did he say to take care of myself. That was when I really knew my place in that family. I was not the head disciple they wanted me to be but a servant to protect them. A shield. After so long I lost the ability to care for myself completely. I barely ate, I drank a lot, and I could barely sleep. I would stay up so long until I basically passed out because I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore. I'd have terrible nightmares too and I couldn't do anything about it..I was alone. I learned to do things alone," I explained.

"You are not alone anymore," Lan Zhan said, "you have Wai Po, you have A'Yuan, and you have me. I promise you, I won't let you go anywhere alone again. I want to go where you go."

"What was it that had you fall for me? Surely you didn't want me long ago. You kept pushing me aside," I asked.

"I was wrong to do that," he said, "but companionship was new to me and I didn't do well with communicating. My brother had tried so many times to get me to make friends but I was okay without them. When you came along everything became loud and hard for me to understand. I didn't know how to handle it other than the way I acted then."

"And now?" I asked.

"I have regrets, Wei Ying," he told me, "I regret parting ways with you after Xuanwu's cave. I regret my attitude towards you when we met. I regret not trying to talk to you about why you gave up your sword. I was so worried about your safety and health that I didn't consider why you didn't use Suibian anymore...I am sorry, Wei Ying."

"Lan Zhan, I have forgiven you a while ago. I just felt like you would have done better without me," I said, "but I will always want to be with you. I was drawn to you when we first met and I never understood why. Now I know...I love you, that is why."

Lan Zhan stared at me with wide eyes. I couldn't help but smile at how cute he looks. His ears were turning so red. I could tell he was taken back by my confession but I meant it.

"You...?" He questioned.

"I. Love. You," I said again.

Lan Zhan didn't say anything. It was quiet but only for a moment. A set of warm yet soft lips were suddenly on mine and they were eager and hungry. I was pulled over more to the edge of the bath and a hand was on the back of my head to keep me from moving away. My hands rested on the side of the bathtub just to keep me steady.

Lan Zhan was so eager but I kept up..but just barely. I felt my lips sting from his teeth mashing down on them, and I could suddenly taste something slightly metallic and salty. He made my lip bleed. This man was wild but for some reason it didn't bother me, in fact it did the opposite and it aroused me. Luckily my lower half was hidden within the water because this man was somehow turning me on. I had to get him to pull back for a moment so I tapped my hand on his shoulder. That managed to get him to pull away, leaving us both breathless, our lungs burning as we tried to breathe again.

"That was intense," I said, "I needed to breathe."

"Sorry, I couldn't hold back," he said.

"Then don't," I said, "and you don't need to apologize for anything. I liked it."

"It is hard to resist you," he told me.

I giggled, "how do you feel about eloping with me?"

"I will do it as long as I have you forever," he told me.

"We can talk to Wai Po about being a witness," I said.

"Alright," he said, "fiancé."

I giggled again. This man is going to be the death of me. I know that I love him so much. I am glad that he is willing to listen to me and let me talk. I am very much looking forward to living the rest of my life with him and even further.