There were times when I ask myself, "What if I am in another person's body?" I was curious to know what goes on within other people's perspective, because I thought that there's so much more to a person than what meets the eye. How do they feel? How do they think? How do they behave? How do they look at themselves? How do they see the world? I can only truly answer most of these questions if I could examine a person as a whole. Since it is impossible for me to enter someone's body, I wouldn't be able to satisfy this curiosity. Besides, there are a lot of personal things an individual choose to hide and not disclose, and I understand everyone's need for privacy. If I will be a given a chance to do it, I may not still take it. It is just a hypothetical question I thrown to myself, after all.
Am I already whole? Of course not. I'm still young, and there are still a lot of years installed for me to gain experiences, meet people, and see the world. I do not even know how being whole feels like. Will I feel fulfilled? Satisfied? Happy? I don't really know. Ironically, I am already used to the feeling of being "empty". Those times that I felt that there's something really missing, something that I really needed but I don't have at that moment. It makes me feel hopeless and desperate. I hate that feeling. But it makes me wonder, if I fulfilled that "emptiness', will I already feel "whole"? Now that I'm not empty, can I conclude that I am whole?
Right now, I can say that I'm not empty, but I can't say I'm whole. This is my state most of the time. Maybe because that "emptiness" only pertains to what I feel on that specific moment and not entirely to me as a person? And whenever I managed to overcome that feeling, it is only because something has made me feel less empty and not made me more full. More importantly, maybe the concept of holism does not only revolve around the emotions or mood that I feel. It embodies everything about me - the physical, mental, and emotional. That can be a reason why being complete emotionally is not being complete holistically as an individual. We must first align and correlate these personal aspects in order to feel that "wholeness."
I think this is also why we cannot truly learn about someone if we only refer to one aspect of themselves. We wouldn't know how they think, nor feel the exact emotions they keep. We could only perceive their physical self, and that is not enough for us to view a person's whole picture. Similarly, we cannot consider ourselves as a whole person if we fail to see all the aspects that constitutes us as a person
I still have a long way to go before I could be able to say that I've reached holism. As I continue my journey, I could either search for the missing pieces, or create ones for my own puzzle, but one thing's for sure - at the right time, I can eventually complete it.
