When I was a little boy, me and my older sister would usually play outside the house. She had her dolls with her, while I had my stuffed animals with me. We would control these toys as if they were really alive, and gave them roles to play for different imaginative scenarios that we created. We also designated names and personalities for each of them so that it would seem realistic for us. My sister would then sew simple dresses and shirts for our dolls, and we acquire other toys and objects which acted as our props. Through these childhood moments, I started to get an idea on what identity is.
Overtime, while I was gradually growing up, I tend to establish premature notions about who I am. I would often describe myself through common adjectives such as bright, kind, friendly, bubbly, creative, and the likes. If I am asked what I want to become in the future, I always say that I aspire to be a doctor, even though I'm not entirely aware of what it truly means to be such. What I only know is that doctors cure people, and I think it was a good thing to do. Reaching to adolescence, my world started to become bigger. My experiences has become diverse. A lot of people have entered and left my life. I was starting to learn more about myself and become aware of how things around me work.
Despite all of these, I still haven't had the chance to have a thorough reflection and consideration of my real identity, mainly because I am not mature enough to fully grasp what 'identity" really is, and there are a lot of things that I haven't experienced and figured out yet. All that I am sure of at this point is that I am Ken. I am a student, a journalist, a son, and a brother. That's it. But if you'll ask me about what my identity is, well, I'm not sure if what I would answer to you is my identity, or just the personality or attributes that I possess.
I may have this sense of "who I am" within me, but I can't seem to put it into words. I am aware of it, but it is really hard to explain because I am the only one who can comprehend it, and is something that I'm not exactly sure about until now. I'm still young, and a lot will change in the future. The experiences that I have gone through and the interactions that I have made throughout my existence, even if they are not that much, has somehow started to mold my "identity". And I believe that through the years, as I slowly become fully mature and open-minded about my inner workings, I would be able to have a fixed, consistent identity that I will definitely be proud of.
