Product of Pain

Suffering in Silence

The black minute hand on the large clock secured to the wall, raced past another number as the room remained silent. Echos of heavy breathing and sniffles could he heard but no words were spoken.

"I'm curious..." the words made Fatima look up from her blank stare and she turned her head "You said that you needed to talk immediately but you've been sitting in silence for the past twenty minutes." She shifted in her seat, putting pressure on her right hip "Did something happen"

She released the breath she had been holding as her fingers fumbled against one another, finding comfort in the circular motion. " I don't know where to start..." she confessed

"Tell me what you are feeling right now"

She shrugged " I feel...alone and I'm scared."

"That's an honest start and those are big feelings for someone who has dealt with trauma and abandonment. What is your mantra about feeling alone."

"I feel lonely but I am not alone. I have people who care for me. I have people who will be there for me if I let them." She recited.

Apart of one of her assignments in therapy she was asked to talk about feeling alone, Delena had to remind Fatima that she had Lori and she had Marquis and they would be there for her if she allowed them to be. This time, she had Zac. If she would let him.

"Have you let the people who will be there, be there for you?"

Fatima's hands immediately began fumbling around as she thought about how to answer her question "I haven't left the house in two days."

Delena watched as Fatima's nervous habits came to surface "What made you shut out the world?" She shifted in her seat "And  while you think about that answer, I want you to focus on the question and take a deep breath. Don't allow your anxiety to control your thoughts. Breathe from 5"

Fatima closed her eyes and inhaled and counted down from 5 as she released her breath slowly. Her eyes fluttered open and tears began to escape her eyes "I...I was doing so good. I was so happy. He has been making me so happy and feel so safe. But now..." her voice trailed off and she quickly wiped her tears

"Did something happen with Zac?" When Fatima didn't answer, Delena sat up "Is he hurting you Fatima?"

The thought immediately angered Fatima, making her sit up quickly "He would never hurt me. He would never hurt me." She repeated and Delena relaxed slightly. "But he can't always be there to protect me."

"Who do you need protection from"

Avoiding her gaze, Fatima stared down at the promise ring on her finger "He bought me a promise ring you know." she swallowed harshly, tasting the bitter thoughts on her mind "It's a star" she raised her hand for Delena to view it

Delena decided to engage "Why is it a star?"

"I love stars" her voice was raspy but she was determined to get through this "He knows I love stars. They bring me peace. He put the ring on my finger the night after he asked me to be his girlfriend."

"Did you say yes?"

Fatima nodded as tears streaked her face "I knew the moment he asked that I was going to say yes. The next morning, this ring was on my finger. And he told me that it was a promise ring."