Ruthless Love

12.

Revati -

Impossible.

I cannot possibly be attracted to the one man I have to stay away from.

I thought I could never feel what I felt for Raghav yesterday. The sort of inappropriate ideas that used to be disgusting to me were suddenly enticing when I imagined them with him. How?

I have never felt this way since then, even before I knew nothing but sexual intimacy has always scared me. I was barely able to look at myself in the mirror after my harrasment but in order to become an actress I had to be confident. The scars on my body are not visible due to cosmetic surgery but I see them everyday.

Yet, yesterday I did not see them. They vanished in front of him. He touched me .

Even bare minimum hand holding used to be so horrendous to me. That's why the first thing I check in the scripts I receive is the amount of skinship I will have to perform. However, when he touched me in such an intimate way I could only beg for more.

No.

This cannot happen.

There has to be a plausible reason. But until I figure out what it is I have to mantain my distance.

Although I am wondering if that'll be possible when I spot raghav eyeing me up and down from the other side of the room. Will he agree with me?

Sitting on large table, surrounded by politicians and influencers, that table is nothing but golden house consisting of all the icons and legends. And there he is sitting in the middle on his throne.

Youngest but most cunning.

Placid but vicious.

Quiet but observant.

Those eyes which were bouncing between his companions are now resting on me. His signature smirk crept up on his lips after noticing me starring at him.

Not wanting to be overpowered I maintain the eye contact but soon he excuses himself from the table and walks towards me, all while still looking at me.

Shitt.

Why does he always have to win?

I immediately try to leave the group I was distinctly a part of but as soon as I reach the exit a hand grabs me and I collide with a hard but firm chest.

Turning around just to look into those dark orbs.

"Running away from me? Beauty?" He whispers, leaning into me.

Damn, how can a person be so masculine.

"I needed some air". I reply with confidence I cannot feel.

"Have you forgotten our deal?"

"What deal?"

"You sucking me off?"

"What ?" Sometimes I forget that his sophisticated looks hide his dirty thoughts going on in his mind.

"I'm not doing it." I state.

"What else would you like to do?" He asks with a smug look.

"Nothing." We are in public he cannot do anything.

"Hmmmm, well then you'll be in a alot of trouble after marriage." He threatens me.

"We'll see" I say and walk away.

I hear a deep giggling behind me. That bastard is enjoying himself.

As I re enter the banquet a hand wraps around my shoulder. I do not need to look up to see it's Raghav again.

All eyes are on the new couple.

"You guys look so cute together." Mahira comes out of nowhere.

"Reva did you know raghav and I dated for a while in college. Everyone said we looked breathtaking together, you should have been the female worshiper during the puja but Rashmi aunty loves me so much that she called me instead of you. Just saying." She ends her yapping.

I try not to look bothered. Puja ? When did this happen.

Did Mahira actually sit next to raghav in that puja. Might as well get married.

Mahira immediately leaves afterwards.

I remove raghav's hand from the shoulder and decide to leave the party for once and for all. Maa already left and I'm sure dad was with her. I am the only one left here. Since my room is in the hotel only,  I make my way towards the staircase that leads to my room.

"Leaving beauty?" He again comes up behind me.

"You need to stop asking stupid questions." I snap at him. I know he didn't want to marry me but stooping so low as to do the sacred puja with Mahira instead of me? How could I let him near me? He is a pervert and I am an idiot.

"What happened?" Raghav's sarcasm vanishes as he suddenly looks furious

"I don't have the energy to deal with you right now."

"You might not like it when I enter your room without your permission again Revati, so tell me before I assort to my own methods." He looks scary now.

"You want me to tell you what? That I feel humiliated that you performed an important ritual with Mahira instead of me. Do you even think about others sentiments or reputation before you do something? Maybe instead of sneaking into my suite you should go to hers. Speed up the process of your marriage and get her pregnant before only." I blurt everything out.

"You made it quite obvious that you don't want this marriage too. Then why are your overreacting so much. Not everything is about you Revati. The rituals was something only members of the upper class family can do. You have to donate uncountable amount of gold in dakshina. Your father is already burdened with the marriage where will he get extra gold from?" Raghav explained it to me. But for me it was nothing but excuses.

"Then you shouldn't have performed it. Was it that big of a deal to show off to the society that you are rich? Couldn't you perform it after you got married to Mahira?" I yelled at him this time.

"Do hear how impractical you sound? Never thought you would be so jealous because of me. You showed me that you don't care so I asked someone who cared  about me. Mahira never disrespected me and she rightfully sat there. You need to gain your position Revati." He sounds awfully calm.

"Fuck you and your position. I always knew that Mahira will be your one and only I don't why I'm even feeling bad. For the one year of our marriage you can sleep with her and spend your time with her. I don't even want to be associated to a freak like you. You don't even know how to treat a woman in general so how can you treat me with respect?" I am on the verge of breaking down.

"I did nothing wrong all I did was treat you like my wife. Nothing to hide and nothing to shy away from. I showed you who I actually am instead of sugar coating and later disappointing you, I don't know why but I thought you'd understand and accept me but I was clearly wrong." He looks frustrated now.

"I wanted to raghav, but what's the point? At the end of the day we'll never be there for each other. Don't treat me like your wife from now on." I say in sore voice before practically running away from there to my room.

As soon as I enter the comforts of my personal space, I collapse and bawl my eyes out. I won't lie to myself and say that I did not wish he treated me like his wife and I didn't like it. But I was living in delusion for the past few days  and treating him like my fiancee when I know everything is a facade.

I really needed this reality check. He is going to use me and throw me. He has been brought up in a family where wealth and reputation are the major aspects of Adanis. He would feel low being with a film actress with no connections or family legacy. Raghav was born to be with a woman like Mahira.

I have no place in his life.

And his heart is non existent.