Behind Bars

Constellation

I tossed and turned again facing the wall this time.
Another night where sleep acted as an battalion of soldiers between the insanity of my thoughts and the only peace I knew.

My conversation with Arial replayed nonstop in my mind.
It was great that she'd got something in  her life that made sense to her and gave her the peace she needed.

I turned again,this time lying flat on my back with my face upward,my left leg stretched out of the bed as I try to use my thumb and index toe to cover the little glint of light that slipped into our dark and hot room.
My toe and thumb collide to cover the dot of light and a sound resembling a sob emerges out of somewhere.

The moment my two toes move apart, the sound ceases.
This goes on again when my toes move together over the light and my eyebrows knit in concern.

Is there some sort of hidden side effect in insomnia patients that is not told — hearing noises?"

The next sob I hear causes my the bunk bed's metal above me to rattle and strained cries lead me to the perpetrator.
I lay still with the intent of giving him the opportunity to ride this out as long as he possibly could.
Like I said earlier, people take this acting tough and emotionless thing so hard that sometimes I wonder if they forget they're still humans and showing emotions are inevitable.

The tears die down but it's immediately followed by him rushing down from the bed towards the sink at the far corner of the room and throwing up last night's dinner.

If you could even call it one.

I prepared the ingredients but still didn't understand how the concoctions we got served were so.

In the dark of the night,I watch as his figure slouches on the filthy basin and with his hand cupped over his mouth,he tries to hold back the sobs.

"Shawn", I whisper in the dead of night. A sudden silence follows my words like a cliffhanger in a horror movie.

"Shawn, I whisper again
are you alright?"

He mentions my name.

He rinses his mouth trying to make the least noise as possible.
"Why are you awake?"

"I could say the same for you"

A beat of silence passes after my words but even in the dark, I feel Shawn contemplating and he lets out a nervous laughter.
"I'm alright,go to sleep"

"You don't look alright"

"Then why ask?"

"First thing that came to mind,dude"

He moves closer now with his movements still on guard and wondering if it's wise to trust me.

"Hey,you wanna get some fresh air?. You know,try to clear your head?",I suggest.

He looks around,his gaze moving to the small window.
"Um...I don't know if you're aware but hardly any air moves through those even at night,he says pointing to the window.
And even if we try to take turns reaching it, there is nothing in here that can take us that high".

I roll my eyes and take out Arial's hair pin that is now lodged in my afro.
Getting to work on the lock,I feel the tension from last time seep into my bones and this time with the added weight of Shawn's confusion.
And just like the last time, the lock finally gives way.

"Come on",I say, gently and carefully opening the metal bars.

"Are you insane?",he whisper shouts.

"Maybe...,I don't know"

Down the path of the hallway to the courtyard like last time,Shawn keeps repeating how insane this is, how much trouble we could get in if we get caught and I'm so close to wishing it was rather his sobs filling the space.