Ben and I spent days together, huddled up at night, killing Cybers in the morning, surviving 24/7. It was easier to fight off my demons with him near me. Maybe forgiveness wasn't an essential part of a relationship. Maybe all we needed was a voice to serenade us to sleep, no matter which voice uttered the serenade.
However, a voice kept nagging at me. A voice that resided in the furthest part of my brain. What if we held on to each other because of hope? What if what we needed was a bigger fight? A chance to feel like a part of something bigger? The only way to achieve that was through being together, so maybe we were enduring "us" to reach that bigger calling. Then, the morning sickness began. At first, I thought I had caught a cold or something. Viruses thrived in the apocalyptic town we lived in. But then I started to get dizzy a lot, and mood swings became a daily occurance. At first, I didn't tell Ben, but a couple of days later, he realized it himself. My fighting days were at risk, for I was carrying life inside of me.
Ben took good care of me, providing me with whatever nutritious foods he could find, encouraging me to sleep in, trying to clean the place around me. One night, people started coming over. I didn't know them, and I realized that Ben didn't know them that well either, but he was getting to know them, asking them questions about places that I didn't know. Days on end they'd spend at our place, providing Ben with information while he provided them with a safe place to live. One night, Ben started packing what little stuff we had, and then came to me.
"We're leaving"
"What? Where?"
"Somewhere safe for you and the baby."
I thought about saying I didn't want to leave, then I realized I did want to leave. Mina was long gone, and hope went along with her, and now I had a baby to look out for, so I nodded to Ben, and walked with him to the door.
