No One Really Understands

Disenchanted.

It was all going to be over on Monday. It had to be. John and I, we were going to be over by the end of the day. Or at least, I hoped. When I walked into school that day, I was already nervous, afraid that before I got a chance to talk to him I'd end up chickening out and having to deal with him and his shit for the rest of the week. I knew that if I didn't do it then, I wasn't going to be able to try again anytime soon, or possibly at all. But as soon as I saw him, standing over by Terezi's desk in Homeroom, all the doubt I'd had was suddenly gone. I felt a wave of hatred rise in my throat as I remembered what he'd done, how Karkat had been so terrified of him. It almost made me sick. I still couldn't quite believe I'd ever been in love with him.

When John looked in my direction, I saw him grin widely. He came up to me and immediately clung to my arm.

"Hey, you," he said playfully, giving me a quick peck on the cheek and snuggling against my side. "You certainly took your time getting to school."

It was all I could do not to throw him off of me and start screaming at him. I made my mouth into what I hoped looked like a smile and gently shook him from my arm. I laughed softly. "Yeah. Sorry. I, um... woke up late, 's all."

John nodded. He looked me up and down, an unfamiliar expression on his face. I saw his smile falter ever so slightly. "Oh... okay." He looked down as he slid his hand into mine. "C'mon."

My hand felt like it was burning and I wanted nothing more than to tear it away. I held his hand as loosely as I could without him noticing. When the bell rang, I slithered from his grasp and sat on the other side of Terezi, with her in between us. I could see John furrow his eyebrows in confusion and glance at Terezi. Terezi noticed as well, and kept turning her head in my direction. About ten or so minutes into class, Terezi shot her hand up in the air.

"I-need-to-go-to-the-library-can-Dave-take-me-okay-bye-we'll-be-back-in-a-sec!" she practically shouted, standing and grabbing bother her cane and my arm and bolting from the room before the teacher could protest. She dragged me down the hall a ways, past several other classrooms before she stopped and turned towards me. She put her hands on her hips and frowned at me. "Ok. Spill."

"W-what?"

"Oh, c'mon, Dave. I'm blind and even I can see there's somethin' going on between you and Egbert."

"Wh... I-I'm not--"

"Are you guys fighting or something? Is that why you sat away from him? What's it about? It must be something pretty serious if it's forcing you two apart."

"It's not--"

"Was it something you did? Was it something he did?" She inhaled softly, and her face softened a bit. "Was it the thing last week? Did other people find out? Because I swear, I didn't tell anybody. If anything, I bet John told more people than me. I mean, I didn't even--"

"That's not it!"

Terezi stopped. She looked slightly taken aback. I saw her swallow.

"Is it... something else?" she asked softly.

I nodded. "It's..." I closed my eyes and sighed softly. "I've been thinking I might... break things off with John. O-or really, I've been meaning to."

"Why? Isn't your three-month anniversary, like, next week?"

I let out a short, dry laugh. "It's in a couple days now, actually."

"Well, what makes you think you want to break up?"

"I don't know it's just..." No. I couldn't tell her about what'd he'd done. Not now. Not here. "I-I guess we've just... grown apart."

Terezi nodded slowly. She turned her head away from me for a moment. "Is there... anyone else?"