Eaton

29. The Aftermath: Marcus

Marcus p.o.v.

Five months, two weeks and four days. That's how long I've gone since I last hit Tobias...well properly hit; not like a slap or something, those don't count. Do they? I don't even know anymore. 

Other than a few smacks here and there though, I've become much calmer.  At first it was difficult, as breaking any other habit would be. I tried locking away the belt to prevent myself from using it again. It worked for a few weeks. Then I got a call from school. He's gotten into a fight with some kid Eric. That's not what pushed my buttons though. It's that the principle said he's done it again. So...not only had he gotten in a fight at school but he's done it before, and lied to me!

I remember how angry I'd gotten. And he just cowered away, apologizing like an idiot. Sometimes I think that'll my son is capable of doing. Apologize and cower. I need to teach him to man up and take responsibility for his actions. You mess up, you man up. He didn't even try to come up with an excuse to get himself out of punishment. He just took it.

Obviously, I had a word with William regarding the matter the next day. He had the audacity to defend Tobias, arguing that 'She asked for Mr Eaton. I am Mr Eaton, I mean technically... it's not my fault she didn't specify, Marc'. Sometimes my brother can be a real prick. 

After that incident, I promised myself I would never lay a hand on him again. It lasted for about a month, until he left the house without my permission and tried to sneak in after midnight. He thought I wouldn't notice?! What does he take me for?! 

After that I locked away the belt completely. I won't turn into my father. John who used to blame me for Will's mishaps, who would lock me in closet till I was twelve, who would get so drunk he... he'd beat us senseless. And I was the one who took it. Will just hid behind me and used me as a shield. I was the one who took the blame for everything, who sorted things out with Matt (a friend of mine back then. He was studying law, taking after his own father) He helped me sort things out when John died. I've done things to Tobias, horrible, unforgivable things but never a horrid as John. The sad part is that I kept doing his bidding till his last breath and after. I would obliterate entire universes for him. Anything to make him proud.

There was one time when I was a kid, which seems like an eternity ago. It was before Will was even born, I was about twelve. John took me out, he needed help carrying some stuff back home. And I remember I was carrying this huge box which I legitimately believe weighed more than me back then. I managed (somehow) to carry it upstairs and when I went downstairs, I remember he ruffled my hair, smiling, and called me his 'big boy'. I can't believe how much that meant to me. I was grinning like an idiot.  

I can't believe how desperate I was for that bastard's love. He was nothing but scum, a stain on humanity. He made me do this, he made me hurt my own son. Unbelievable.

I can hear Tobias come in through the back door. Finally, he's been gone for ages, it's his turn to cook dinner.

"Sorry, dad. I didn't think it would actually take that long. I'm sorry"

"Well? How did it go?"

He smiles bashfully and rubs the back of his neck.

"Good, very very good. I'll uh, I'll start dinner."

I nod and head back to my office. God, I hope he doesn't mess up. This isn't exactly a matter I would like to discuss with Andrew, despite him being a very good friend of mine. I take a seat at my desk and start reading the bill in front of me. It's a new law suggested by one of my lesser council members (that moron, Harris). He's so annoying, just an incompetent, worthless waste of time. He's half the reason why I come home in a foul mood. Before, I'd just take it out on Tobias but now, in my effort to stop my anger from coming out on him, I send him to his room. It's better if he just stays away from me on those nights. He's safer that way. And maybe it just gives us a chance to reconcile our relationship.

I've found a trick to remaining calm, well not calm as such, but stop myself from hitting Tobias. It's the last person I thought would ever help me. Evelyn. I just remember her beautiful face, her serene nature, the way she would stand in front of Tobias when I had one of my moods. I can safely say that my biggest regret now is letting her die hating me. 

I miss her. I always have. I tried to get through the first few months of loss by telling myself that it was better this way. That I have one less person to argue with. But I knew deep down that that wasn't the truth. I missed her so badly. The bed was cold, things with Tobias just got worse, I was on my own again. I had to hide it all, get back on my feet and plow through grief. 

"It's almost done."

"Good."

I close off the papers and head into the kitchen where Tobias is dishing out some chicken for us. I'll cook tomorrow, the kid doesn't know anything outside of chicken, pasta and salad on a good day. You'd think after all this time, he'd learn how to cook a steak. Damn it's been long since I've had one of those.

A/N

Heyy guys, hope you like this update. sorry for any mistakes it is currently 2.07 a.m. here, so... yeah :)

xxRachele:)